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Band 4.5

People should be at least 21 years old before they are allowed to drive a car. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #years #drive #car
Nowadays,
people
 have different opinions on whether is it important the minimum
age
 for driving 21. In my opinion, except in certain cases, I largely agree with the notion that
people
 should
have
Verb problem
be
show examples
 at least 21 years old because of the knowledge factor
besides
this
 a lot of traffic. First and foremost, some
people
 including me support the argument that before the
age
 of
21
Add a comma
21,
show examples
 no one has the right to drive a car and believe it is beneficial in terms of reduction in an accident on the roads.
This
 is because escalation in vehicles on
road
Correct article usage
the road
show examples
 leads to congestion and
this
 is the main reason behind a lot of vehicle collisions because
people
 are always in
hurry
Correct article usage
a hurry
show examples
 and avoid rules.
For example
, "The Times" published
according to
 a survey conducted in 2022 that an 87% increase in road accidents as compared to a decade ago was only because of amateur drivers.
Hence
, increase in fatality rates. Moving on, another worth mentioning point is children only focus on studies rather than having fun on highways with friends. To be more specific, if the government does not issue driving licences to those under 21
then
 individuals have to focus towards their careers, despite wasting time on riding cars which results in both an increase in pollution and risk rate.
For instance
, Tim Cooper, a researcher from Sheffield Hallam University in the UK points out that most of the students did not attend their classes and spent time riding their bikes or cars only to show off or for fame. Shifting to the other aspect, another school of thought opposes the idea of issuing a licence after the
age
 of 21.
As they
Correct word choice
They
show examples
 may think that individuals only learn to drive after a lot of practice and
this
 is the factor which strengthens their viewpoint. Practice makes a man perfect,
although
 life plays a vital role. In conclusion, the community find it hard to reach a consensus that which approach is better for driving under 21 or over 21. Despite a few
people
 saying that practice removes shyness, I tend to favour that a minimum of 21 years of
age
 is important for driving because of the
rising
Replace the word
rise
show examples
 in accidents and knowledge of the person.
Submitted by parvinderp93 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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