The bar chart below shows the numbers of men and women attending various evening courses at an adult education centre in the year 2009. The pie chart gives information about the ages of these course participants. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

#bar #numbers #men #women #courses #adult #education #centre #year #information #ages #course #participants #report #university #lecturer #summarise #features #comparisons

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The charts give to illustrate the numbers of males and females attending various evening courses with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

different subjects at an adult education centre in one period.

Overall

Linking Words

, the pie chart showed both

men

Use synonyms

and

women

Use synonyms

of different ages attend in four subjects namely, drama, painting, sculpture and language. On the one hand,

men

Use synonyms

are less than

women

Use synonyms

in drama with a percentage of about 10%,

while

Linking Words

women

Use synonyms

are higher with 20%.

However

Linking Words

women

Use synonyms

are still

Change preposition

show examples

the trend in painting approximately around 30% though

men

Use synonyms

less by 5% than females.

On the other hand

Linking Words

men

Use synonyms

become higher than

women

Use synonyms

in sculpture with a proportion of 10%

while

Linking Words

girls dive by 30%.

Also

Linking Words

Submitted by taaallwell on Mon Apr 03 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "numbers of" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

113 words

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