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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
#people #music #cultures #ages
There is no doubt that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
these days most
people
 listen to different types of
music
. The question is, does
music
 unite
people
 from different cultures and various
ages
? In
this
 essay, I am going to discuss the
important
Replace the word
importance
show examples
of
music
 in our life. In order to the advantages,
music
 unites
people
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 various segments of
ages
 and with different backgrounds. The main proof given to support
this
 claim is that, the huge
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of fans, which attend ceremonies or a concert, even for a singer, who is from a different country. To illustrate, many
people
 in
Arabic
Correct article usage
the Arabic
show examples
 region, youth and old, love Michael Jackson and attended his musical concert in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
.
In other words
,
this
 concert had a significant attendance for Michal Jackson fans from whole over the world.
Music
 or a good musician could be a reason to unite
people
 from different counties
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
different
ages
.
However
, some other
people
 think that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
music
 is just a way of entertainment.
Firstly
,
music
 will not end a war or solve
confliction
Replace the word
conflict
show examples
between different nations.
In other words
,
music
 is
Change the article
a
show examples
good way of passing
fun
Correct article usage
a fun
show examples
 time, but not to unite
people
.
Also
, different
ages
 of
people
 have different
taste
Fix the agreement mistake
tastes
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
music
, which makes it
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
hard to like or hear the same genus of
music
 or songs.
This
Add a missing verb
is
show examples
because
Add the preposition
of
show examples
the huge gap and variation of mentalities . In conclusion,
although
 many
people
 think that
music
 can lead
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 bringing
people
all together
Replace the word
altogether
show examples
, others disagree with that.
Therefore
 I believe that
music
 could be a way of uniting different types of
people
.
Submitted by mmahmoud_hanafym on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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