We live in a world of technology these days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problem in terms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages. To what extent do you agree?

Technology has blessed humans in many ways, one
such
invention is
Correct article usage
the cable-net
show examples
cable-net
Correct your spelling
cable net
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. Some people argue that
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
has many pros but its negative point is
leaking
Correct article usage
the leaking
show examples
of data. I completely agree with
this
statement because a number of computer applications are fake and lack
of
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apply
show examples
cyber laws.
To begin
with,
internet
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the internet
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is less secure since there are sizeable numbers
laptop
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of laptop
show examples
apps which are fraud. What I mean by
this
is that many applications
which
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whose
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purpose is to entertain people
but
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apply
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actually they steal peoples’ personal data and
then
they blackmail them for money.
For example
,
Dolphin
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the Dolphin
show examples
gaming app gathered millions of youth info and later sold out
in
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on
show examples
black
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the black
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market,
as a
result
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,result
show examples
thousands of pupils commit suicide. Another reason why I advocate that the
internet
has zero shielding for
personal
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the personal
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record
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records
show examples
Add a missing verb
is because
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because
Add the preposition
ofbecause
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less
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fewer
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cyberspace regulations. In many
countries
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,countries
show examples
various gangs and criminals operate websites and their sole work
to
Add a missing verb
is to
show examples
cheat
public
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the public
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by using different ways
such
as hacking
facebook
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Facebook
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account
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accounts
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and
steal
Wrong verb form
stealing
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family pictures or videos.
For example
, 60% of world hackers are in the Asian continent because of no
internet
policy. On the hand, there is an argument that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hyperspace has made
peoples’
Correct your spelling
people’s
show examples
lives easy. Since nowadays masses can do online business through
this
and can earn a huge cash per month. Take
example
Add an article
the example
an example
show examples
of amazon in which millions of people
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
online marketing.
To sum up
, I totally concur that infobahn has many plus
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
but in terms of control and
information
Add a comma
,information
show examples
it has cons
as
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apply
show examples
due to
fraud desktop applications and nil
internet
rules. I feel that government need to ban
such
sites which involve
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
criminal activities and provide security to
internet
users.
Submitted by engrizazsaeed on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global connectivity
  • digital banking
  • cybersecurity
  • data protection
  • security breaches
  • cyber attacks
  • online transactions
  • digital divide
  • surveillance
  • freedom of information
  • responsible usage
  • ethical considerations
  • digital footprints
  • online behavior
  • information inequality
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