IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#experts #children #language #school #outweigh
Some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
specialists
Add an article
the specialists
show examples
 are of the opinion that learning a foreign
language
 at primary
school
 is better than learning
while
 at secondary
school
. Introducing a foreign
language
 at primary
school
 is more disadvantageous compared to that
of in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
secondary
school
. A few advantages
while
 learning a foreign
language
 at primary
school
 is that, when a
child
 is young, they have the capacity to learn, grasp and adapt to new things faster than that
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children
 at secondary
school
. Learning
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
language
 may not be an excitement for every
child
however
 as they grow up, they have too much on their plate like homework,
practical’s
Change noun form
practicals
show examples
, assignments etc. But a
child
 who is in
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
primary
school
 does have homework too but
however
 by implementing new learning techniques
while
 teaching could make it interesting for
children
 to learn.
This
 will enable the kids to learn and
also
 have better prospects in terms of
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 in
their
Change the pronoun
the
show examples
 later years of their life.
However
, there are various drawbacks that could hinder the process of learning
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
language
 at a primary
school
. The
child
 may learn
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 foreign
language
 but not having anyone to practice
foreign
Correct article usage
a foreign
show examples
language
 could make the
child
 forget the
language
. Practice makes
man
Add an article
a man
show examples
 perfect and so is learning a new
language
.
Moreover
, in primary
school
Add a comma
,school
show examples
 the
children
 are too young and they are already speaking
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 languages
while
 at primary
school
 in a place like India where
children
 come from a diverse
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
show examples
. During my
schooling
Add a comma
,schooling
show examples
 I
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
had a friend who learned French and by the time she finished her
schooling
Add a comma
,schooling
show examples
 she hardly remembered the basics of the
language
 as she had no one to teach or talk to except her teacher.
Submitted by reddy_sowmya8110 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive abilities
  • pronunciation
  • self-conscious
  • cultural awareness
  • global society
  • proficiency levels
  • competitive job market
  • foundational skills
  • qualified teachers
  • recreational activities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: