The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevan

#show #percentage #time #adults #activities #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons #relevan

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The two charts provide data on the proportion of various activities done by grown-up people with

work

Use synonyms

in one country in two different years.

It is clear that

Linking Words

work

Use synonyms

is the key

activity

Use synonyms

for adults. The figure increased significantly from 33 per

cent

Use synonyms

in 1958 to 42 per

cent

Use synonyms

in 2008. The percentage of sleeping as a popular

activity

Use synonyms

accounted for almost one-third of the total in the

fisrt

Correct your spelling

first

year but reduced marginally to one-fourth in the second year. Probing

further

Linking Words

, chilling out with friends lost its popularity.

This

Linking Words

activity

Use synonyms

made up approximately 20 per

cent

Use synonyms

of the total in 1958,

Linking Words

however

Add a comma

,however

show examples

the figure dipped significantly during half of the century, to 6 per

cent

Use synonyms

. The share of travelling to

work

Use synonyms

grew remarkably from 2 per

cent

Use synonyms

in the first year to 8 per

cent

Use synonyms

in 2008.

Overall

Linking Words

, people from both time periods are keen on

work

Use synonyms

and devote to it the majority of their time. Sleeping is

also

Linking Words

popular as an

activity

Use synonyms

among adults,

while

Linking Words

other activities like hobbies are not in demand.

Submitted by mgshetler on Tue Apr 04 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words work, activity, cent with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

▼

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

174 words

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