The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevan

The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevan
The two charts provide data on the proportion of various activities done by grown-up people with
work
in one country in two different years.
It is clear that
work
is the key
activity
for adults. The figure increased significantly from 33 per
cent
in 1958 to 42 per
cent
in 2008. The percentage of sleeping as a popular
activity
accounted for almost one-third of the total in the
fisrt
Correct your spelling
first
year but reduced marginally to one-fourth in the second year. Probing
further
, chilling out with friends lost its popularity.
This
activity
made up approximately 20 per
cent
of the total in 1958,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
the figure dipped significantly during half of the century, to 6 per
cent
. The share of travelling to
work
grew remarkably from 2 per
cent
in the first year to 8 per
cent
in 2008.
Overall
, people from both time periods are keen on
work
and devote to it the majority of their time. Sleeping is
also
popular as an
activity
among adults,
while
other activities like hobbies are not in demand.
Submitted by mgshetler on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Replace the words work, activity, cent with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: