IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that goverment is wasting money on arts and thag money could better spent else where to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #goverment #money #arts #thag
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Some of them are of the opinion that the government is spending more money than needed on
art
Use synonyms
 and
this
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 has become a serious issue of argument lately. In my opinion, it is necessary that
funds
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 should be allocated towards
art
Use synonyms
 in order to preserve the cultural heritage of the country and encourage young and creative artists but in a reasonable manner rather than splurging. Every Country spends
certain
Change the article
a certain
show examples
 amount of
funds
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 on
art
Use synonyms
 in order to improve or develop or preserve
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 rich heritage. By
alloting
Correct your spelling
allowing
allocating
funds
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on
Change preposition
to
show examples
art
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Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
could help in encouraging and
accelerate
Wrong verb form
accelerating
show examples
 the number of visitors/tourists which could eventually generate revenue.
For example
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, Europe has lovely museums which exhibit the work of famous artists which is a spectacular sighting
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also
Correct word choice
and also
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 the architecture. Today we know how many
tourist
Change to a plural noun
tourists
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 will not miss their visit to these museums,
palace
Fix the agreement mistake
palaces
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 and
church
Fix the agreement mistake
churches
show examples
while
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 in Europe.  In consideration of several developing countries where basic
necessties
Correct your spelling
necessities
 are not met, it becomes difficult to allot resources on
art
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 where people are dying of hunger and medical needs.
However
Linking Words
, importance should be given to
art
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Linking Words
whereas
Correct word choice
so
show examples
, we pass on our heritage to the forthcoming generation and continue to carry forward our history and
also
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 encourage creative minds
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their
contribution
Replace the word
contribute
show examples
.
Overall
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, the Government should not waste money or allocate
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
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 excess which could be used on the people of the country in order to enable them
have
Add the particle
to have
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better
Add an article
a better
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 quality of life. The
funds
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 allocated towards
art
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 should be put
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 good use which could help generate
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
 amount of revenue which could sustain itself without any
further
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 need to get more
funds
Use synonyms
.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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