IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many countries, people like to eat a wide variety of food that can be grown in other areas. As a result, people eat more food produced in other regions than local food. Do the disadvantages of this trend outweigh its advantages?

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The globalization of trade has promoted the
food
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 options available to today’s consumers.
Although
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this
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 propensity may have some negative impacts on the environment, I assume that it is a beneficial development to society in terms of health and the economy. Long-distance
food
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 transportation is a significant contributor to a number of environmental issues.
First,
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the rise in the transportation of commodities increased fuel consumption and carbon emissions, which adds to global warming. Transporting
food
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 by air
far
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,
for example
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, frequently takes a great deal of fuel and produces pollutants at high altitudes, which have devastating effects on the ozone layer.
Second,
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in order to extend the shelf life of fresh products, packing and other preservation techniques are extensively used during long-distance transit, resulting in a substantial volume of non-biodegradable trash.
Nonetheless
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, I believe that ingesting cuisine from multiple places is advantageous for people's health. It is generally challenging for densely populated urban areas to establish agriculture and produce adequate
food
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 for the entire population.
Therefore
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, in the majority of instances,
food
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 should be brought from other regions or countries in order to meet the nutritional demands of people around the world, thereby significantly enhancing their physical conditions. Another worth-mentioning benefit of
this
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 tendency is that the globalization of agricultural products will eliminate seasonal and regional restrictions on consumer options.
This
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 trend is economically favourable for agriculture-producing nations because farmers can boost their revenue by selling their commodities to people living in geographical locations. In conclusion, the prevalence of
food
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 growing in different areas of the world can lead to detrimental environmental effects.
However
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, I suppose that
this
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 progress is beneficial for
the
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society in terms of health and the economy.

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coherence cohesion
Task Response: The essay partially addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of consuming food produced in other regions. However, it would benefit from a clearer position on whether the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.
task achievement
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has a generally logical structure but lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. It would be improved by clearly framing the discussion at the beginning and summarizing the key points at the end.
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