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Band 5

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation
Some people are inclined to dedicate all their life to
work
 with no free time for entertainment.
Although
this
 approach is quite popular nowadays, I believe that it leads to more drawbacks than
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
.
Lifestyle
Correct article usage
A lifestyle
show examples
 with
focus
Correct article usage
a focus
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 on
work
 has only one obvious material advantage. Since salaries in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most jobs are calculated based on the completed amount of working hours, people who have ambitious financial goals may achieve them faster.
While
 others relax
socialize
Correct word choice
and socialize
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, they may comfort themselves
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the idea of
salary
Correct article usage
a salary
show examples
 in future.
For example
,
business
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the business
a business
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 model in many law firms
based
Add a missing verb
is based
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 on the idea that associates should
work
 more than one hundred hours per week because they
is
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are
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 based on the amount of “billed hours”. It means that the more they
work
 the more they get. In spite of the benefit described above, lack of leisure time because of hard
work
 has
it’s
Replace the word
its
show examples
 serious negative sides. First of all, it may lead to ruined social bonds. Since human beings are biosocial creatures problems in
work
-life balance may cause
decreasing
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the decreasing
show examples
 quality of social
contats
Correct your spelling
contacts
.
For example
, I had a friend at the university who decided to stop his lasting romantic relationship because his
girflriend
Correct your spelling
girlfriend
 was obsessed with her career.
Secondly
, people who do not have enough leisure in their life
,
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apply
show examples
 put their
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
show examples
 at risk of not having enough time to rest which may be a reason for psychological burnout.
According to
 scientific reports, poor
work
-life balance is a popular reason for it. When some workers prefer to
mantain
Correct your spelling
maintain
 a healthy
work
-life balance,
others
Correct word choice
while others
show examples
 decide to be focused solely on their jobs.
However
, in
case
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the case
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 of prioritization of
work
 over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
entertainment disadvantages
obviously
Add a comma
,obviously
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outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
Correct article usage
the advantage
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advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
.
Submitted by korteseg on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
What to do next:
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