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Writing Samples
Band 5

Most of people accept that we now live in a globalised world but not everyone agree that this is beneficial. To what extent is globalisation a positive or negative development ?

#people #world #globalisation #development
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Living in a globalised world become a part of human life. Many
people
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
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 that living in
globalised
Correct article usage
a globalised
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 world brings negative effects on them,
whereas
 some of them argue that living in
this
 modern era will be helpful in many ways.
However
, in my view, I perceived
this
 trend as a positive development for two main reasons. The major reason is it will be easier to get
information
. By having high technology that serves by
globalised
Add an article
the globalised
show examples
 world,
people
 can access
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information
 from anywhere and everywhere. For illustration, teachers that need to learn
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new material can easily access the internet to get
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information
 about the material.
However
, it will be very helpful in
education
Add an article
the education
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 field and help students
understanding
Wrong verb form
understand
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 the material better. The next reason is getting more understanding of
human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
principles
.
Globablisations
Correct your spelling
Globalisation
serves
Correct subject-verb agreement
serve
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 the technology that can help
people
 to move from one place to another place
such
 as
plan
Correct your spelling
plane
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, train and bus.
This
 movement gives
people
Correct article usage
the oppurtunity
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oppurtunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 to meet other
people
 especially
people
 from other countries.
For instance
, when we meet
western
Replace the word
Westerners
show examples
 we cannot judge the way they behave just because it is different
with
Change preposition
from
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 our
principles
.
People
 can not judge other
people
 only from one perspective.By
provided
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
globalisation,
people
 can learn to understand the
principles
 of human lives.
To sum up
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
globalisation helps
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 lives in many ways
such
 as getting easier to get
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information
 and getting more understanding of
human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
principles
. I
firmly
Add a missing verb
am firmly
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 convinced that
this
 trend has a positive development
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 human lives.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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