IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some developed countries now have unemployment problems. Why do people still want to emigrate to these countries? Give reasons and specific examples to explain your answer

#countries #unemployment #people
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Unemployment is one of the widespread issues the entire world is facing nowadays. Even with fewer job opportunities in the advanced states , people still want to migrate to these nations for better career and life prospects.
This
 essay will shed light on the various factor for
this
 trend. To start with, the first and foremost is the healthcare system.To elaborate,these countries provide superior medical facilities to their natives by aggregating all hospitals under insurance providers and usually administrators bear the cost of premiums,
thus
 their citizens are entitled to avail the health services at their convenience.
In addition
 to it, another major factor is social security as evolved countries support their dwellers financially in case of unemployment and natural disasters.To exemplify, during covid pandemic, the Canadian government provided monetary help to the workers who lost their jobs.
Moreover
, these states cater to the supreme quality of life in other areas
such
 as better infrastructure, and subsidized education and the officials are usually concerned the nature and climate , so they ensure the preservation of natural resources and low pollution.
Furthermore
, human beings are always excited to explore various cultures and traditions and youths are fascinated by Western culture , so they are inclined to move to these countries to learn about their ethnicity. In conclusion, despite unemployment in a few nations, people still want to move there, because of the better lifestyle, healthcare, ample amenities and curiosity to learn about some new traditions.
Submitted by singhlakhwinder940 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: