IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some think the current generation should take steps to protect the environment for the next generation.to what extend do you agree or dis agree.

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Environmental threats are undeniable for the upcoming
generation
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. Few individuals find the present
world
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 to be responsible
to secure
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for securing
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 the
environment
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 for the
future
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world
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. I fully agree
to
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with
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 the notion and
this
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 essay will discuss the logical reasons for my agreement, followed by a brief conclusion.
Firstly
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, present environmental concerns will become severe issues for the upcoming humanity.
This
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 means,
if
Correct word choice
that if
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the
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apply
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issues like global warming are not dealt with by the current
generation
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 it will gradually result in unbearable
variation
Fix the agreement mistake
variations
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 in the temperature across the
world
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.
Also
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, the upcoming
generation
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 will have no fresh air to breathe if no appropriate steps are taken to control the escalating pollution level.
Consequently
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, the life span in the
future
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 will shorten
due to
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 severe respiratory diseases.
For example
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, scientists have predicted that the number of deaths
due to
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 asthma will spike up to 35% by the year 2035.
Hence
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, immediate actions are required.
Secondly
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,
deforestation
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 must
also
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 be dealt with by the current
generation
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 to secure the
environment
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 for the upcoming population.
This
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 is because the adverse effects of a steep incline in
deforestation
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 in today's time are already being suffered by the present
environment
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.
For instance
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, unpredictably heavy rainfall, unexpected flooding, soil erosion, drought and many more.
Hence
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, the upcoming
generation
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 will suffer even more severe consequences if the pattern of
deforestation
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 remains the same.
Therefore
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, steps to resolve
this
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 issue are indeed required to make the
future
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world
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 livable. In conclusion, It is certainly our responsibility to take the
initiate
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initiative
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 in restoring the earth's atmosphere and
environment
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 to minimize environmental threats like
deforestation
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, pollution and, global warming so our
future
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generation
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 can live a happy and healthy life.

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Task Response
Ensure that the essay directly addresses all aspects of the prompt and consistently maintains a clear position throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas in each paragraph and use cohesive devices to connect the ideas more effectively.
Lexical Resource
Enrich the variety and precision of vocabulary by using a wider range of lexis to express ideas more precisely.
Grammatical Range
Enhance grammatical accuracy and demonstrate a wider range of grammatical structures and sentence types throughout the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental conservation
  • sustainable practices
  • carbon footprint
  • renewable energy
  • deforestation
  • pollution
  • climate change
  • ecosystem
  • biodiversity
  • waste management
  • conservation
  • global warming
  • greenhouse gases
  • natural resources
  • renewable resources
  • fossil fuels
  • reducing emissions
  • eco-friendly
  • recycling
  • alternative energy
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