Nowadays a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Some people think this can have negative effects on children and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Looking at the world
it is clear that
the younger generation is flooded with countless advertisements. While
many people dislike this
phenomenon, my view is that TV commercials can positively contribute to youngsters in many ways.
In fact, certain advertisements can be informative for children
as well. For students who do not have a clear career prospect, some interesting workshop adverts
could peak
their interest in programming, data analysis, and computer science. These useful Correct the spelling
pique
adverts
will enhance their job-hunting skills and create more labour supplies for the whole society.
Likewise
, some commercials tend to encourage children
's imagination. For instance
, many young kids nowadays play with Legos
cars because they are attracted by the TV ads made by the company. Replace the word
Lego
As a result
, a majority of these juveniles have
later Verb problem
apply
become
car engine experts and innovated tons of real cars based on their Lego blueprints.
Those who harbour the view that Wrong verb form
became
children
-aimed ads should be censored because they can adversely affect their babies may argue that such
adverts
sometimes contain questionable contents
to gain attraction from young people. Indeed, it is not uncommon to see that many greedy enterprises have designed Fix the agreement mistake
content
children
-targeted adverts
to compel teenagers to purchase goods and services that are beyond their purchasing power. But
the government should shoulder the responsibility and introduce more restrictive laws to prevent young minds from buying things that they do not need, which seems like a reasonable compromise.
In conclusion, reliable marketing materials that are aimed at Correct word choice
However
children
not only lay a solid foundation for the kids but also
boost their creativity. Nevertheless
, children
should refrain from watching poorly made advertisements. Only by doing so can we have a better shopping atmosphere for the next generation.Submitted by graciekongg on
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task response
Task Response: Your essay provides a clear and complete response to the task. You have presented both sides of the argument and given your own opinion effectively. However, ensure that your opinion is clear and explicitly stated in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: Your essay demonstrates a logical structure and supported main points, but the introduction and conclusion could be more explicit and effective in framing the essay. Ensure that the introduction presents a clear thesis statement and that the conclusion summarizes key points and restates your position.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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