IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduate get better jobs. others believe there are much wider benefits of the university education for both individuals and society. discuss both and give your opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some members of society think that a
university
Use synonyms
 is just a place where
future
Use synonyms
 employees get their education,
while
Linking Words
 others share the opinion that more advantages can be provided. In my opinion, the mission of the
university
Use synonyms
 is not only to prepare students for jobs but to generate a prospective condition for the
future
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, the majority of people go to
university
Use synonyms
 in order to get a higher education degree so that they can satisfy the requirements of employers.
This
Linking Words
 is the most cited reason so far.
For example
Linking Words
, it is impossible to become a doctor without a diploma.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, just focusing on graduation to get a job in
future
Use synonyms
 can put less stress on pupils. To exemplify, a medical student should only study his or her
future
Use synonyms
 profession,
whereas
Linking Words
 a technical student should be busy learning about it, to become a specialist.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a wider range of education can be obtained through the community of the college. Communicating with individuals with different ideas and aims can be an auspicious experience.
For instance
Linking Words
, the founders of «Google» met in college and
get
Wrong verb form
got
show examples
 along because they had the same agendas.
This
Linking Words
 is the perfect example of how universities can provide much greater conditions and environment as well. Taking everything into consideration and concluding, I think that the main priority of the
university
Use synonyms
 is to provide its
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 with opportunities by creating an appropriate environment so that they can benefit themselves
fundamentally
Rephrase
apply
show examples
and society in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 long run.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Task Response: The essay addresses the task by discussing both perspectives, but there is confusion in expressing your opinion. Make sure to clearly state your viewpoint with supporting reasons.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure of the essay is mostly clear, but there is a lack of a strong introduction and conclusion. Additionally, the essay lacks consistent support for the main points. Work on creating a stronger introduction and conclusion, and ensure that your main points are well-supported throughout the essay.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: