At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of youngadults, comparedwith the numbers of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh thedisadvantages?

Actualstatistics
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Actual statistics
have
shownthat
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shown that
the
rate
of youngadultsisapproximativelybiggerthanolder
people
in some countries around the globe, in the
nextlines
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next lines
,
wewilldiscuss
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we will discuss
if the advantages of
this
situation outweigh the disadvantages Undoubtedly, if the majority of the population are
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young adults
youngadults
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young adults
young-adults
,
surelyit’s
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surely it's
a positive sign, in
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other words
otherwords
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other words
, young active
people
helps the economy to
growfast
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grow fast
and to vary in many ranges because of
theirenergy
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their energy
, productive outcome, and
innovativeideas
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innovative ideas
,
furthermore
, the
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young individuals
youngindividualis
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young individuals
capable
to
Change preposition
of to
show examples
buildfamilies
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build families
, as
resultpreserve
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result preserve
the
continuousgrowth
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continuous growth
of young population,
whichis
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which is
the
mostprecious
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most precious
factor in community existence and development over the centuries ,
for instance
, Muslim countries have the highest
rate
of young
people
becausethey
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because they
value family life and
theyprioritizehaving
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they prioritize having
kids in
theirearlyage
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their early age
, In the
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same context
samecontext
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same context
, but from a different perspective, if the country includes a high
rate
of elder,
certainlyatsome
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certainly at some
point the
economywillstart
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economy will start
to fall off because, elders in
this
stage consume more
thantheyproduce
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than they produce
,
for example
, the
rate
of young
people
keepdecreasing
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keep decreasing
keep-decreasing
due to
aversion
for
Correct pronoun usage
what for
show examples
marriage,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
similarly
the older
people
rate
keepincreasing
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keep increasing
as noticed in European countries, for ,exampleItalywhich know now as an old country
growingolder
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growing older
,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
I believethattheirpresenceismandatory in order to hand over society's traditions to the
nextgeneration
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next generation
,
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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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