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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that arts like music and painting should be funded by the government. Others believe that these are important for a society and need government funding. what is your opinion?

#people #arts #music #government #society
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Technological advancements in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent times have prompted
people
 to neglect other subjects like
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
show examples
. Some
people
 suggest that
government
 should provide financial assistance to
artists
 to avoid
arts
 becoming extinct
while
 others contest
this
 claim. I strongly believe that given the situation,
government
 funding is much needed.
This
 essay will discuss several reasons and provide an explanation to justify my stance. Through various forms of art,
people
 are able to express their thoughts in a crafty fashion. Not only
this
 helps in cultivating craftiness in
people
 but it
also
 helps in bringing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human society closer to each other. Since scientific and technological studies
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 become increasingly prevalent,
people
 are developing technical expertise and knowledge in those areas but it hardly serves any social benefit.
As a result
, polarisation between different societies
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 increased multiple folds recently. A good illustration of
this
 is the fact that racist and discriminative crimes have become extremely common in
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 few decades.
Therefore
, the
government
 should fund
arts
 as a subject so that it will positively improve the social fabric of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society collectively.
Furthermore
, most
artists
 are increasingly becoming concerned
due to
rapid
Correct article usage
the rapid
show examples
 decline in the popularity of
arts
.
Due to
this
, they are unable to sustain their livelihood as they are unable to earn enough money.
Consequently
, most
artists
 are considering
to change
Change the verb form
changing
show examples
 their profession for better financial income. Take Bryan Adams as an instance, a
well known
Add a hyphen
well-known
show examples
 former artist opted to become an engineer and stopped producing musical forms of art
due to
 marginal gains.
Hence
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should provide financial aid to stop
this
 trend by encouraging
artists
 to stay firm
onto
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their profession.
Also
,
this
 will inculcate interest in
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
show examples
 to explore
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
show examples
. To sum it up,
this
 essay discussed various reasons why
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should provide financial support to stop
arts
 from becoming extinct. Not only
this
 will serve a social cause of bringing
people
 together but
also
 at the same time,
this
 move will
also
 encourage
artists
 and masses to explore
arts
.
Submitted by Mohammed Danishuddin on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural heritage
  • Funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Mental well-being
  • Soft power
  • Economic stimulus
  • Artistic expression
  • Censorship
  • Cultural diversity
  • Private patronage
  • Public investment
  • Cultural exchange
  • Artistic initiatives
  • Financial struggle
  • Creative industries
What to do next:
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