Today children and adults from many countries play video games. Some people believe playing video games is harmful. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

#children #adults #countries #video #games #people

Along with

the rapid progress of technology, where children get into it much, it is undeniable that they have a strong interest in playing

video

games

. The situation is getting more uncomfortable when kids cannot manage their time and the parents are unable to put sufficient control towards the

video

games

overused.

Therefore

, I personally agree that playing

video

games

is dangerous for children

due to

two primary reasons. The detail will be elaborated through

this

essay. Playing

video

games

significantly distracts academic activities. The

games

potentially ruin the children's focus on doing their school activities and homework accomplishment. When

video

games

have successfully attracted their mind and time, it will be hard for parents to withdraw their attention towards

games

and reroute the focus to school life.

For instance

, kids may lose interest to finish their mathematics homework and they prefer to play

games

rather than do the task. The

video

games

which now are available on gadgets turns to be potential to harm children’s

eyes

. Let me put an example, when they keep playing

games

for a long period, they will wear glasses earlier. It goes without saying that they do not feel comfortable with the glasses every day. The worst impact of getting into

games

too deep is

eyes

Change the noun form

eye

show examples

disorders and blind. In a nutshell, there are two primary reasons why I agree with the danger of playing

video

games

. First,

video

games

Fix the agreement mistake

game

show examples

playing may disrupt children’s school activities and

second,

it is quite dangerous for

eyes

Correct article usage

the eyes

show examples

and has the potential to cause

eyes

Change the noun form

eye

show examples

malfunctions, disorders, and blind.

Submitted by sakinah.snr on Wed Apr 05 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

261 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Today children and adults from many countries play video games. Some people believe playing video games is harmful. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

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