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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries the average worker is obliged to retire at the age of 50, while in others people can work until they are 65 or 70. Meanwhile, we see some politicians enjoying power well into their eighties. Clearly, there is little agreement on an appropriate retirement age. Until what age do you think people should be encouraged to remain in paid employment? Give reasons for your answer.

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Introduction
Generally speaking, It is controversial when workers should retire all over the world.Some say that workers have to keep working as long as they are fine,
while
Linking Words
 others believe that people had better retire at around 50 years old.I personally believe that the best time for retirement is fifty to sixty years old.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
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 with, workers don’t have to work if they have enough money to survive financially for the rest of their life.One example is that office employees usually prepare for money that they spend the rest of their future by using savings and pensions after resignment.
Although
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 the reason why some employees work may be different from salaries, many employees work for supporting their families.
Body paragraph 2
Moreover
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, some around fifty aged public usually start losing their energy to do something new.
Body paragraph 3
Due to
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 the fact that life after resignment is said as “the second stage”, it’s meaningless if the public isn't energetic
to begin
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 new and unexperienced things.
Body paragraph 4
From a different view of point, Finishing taking care of children
also
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 supports retirement.
Body paragraph 5
people have to spend money on their children’s education and life events until the adolescents can get on their feet.
Body paragraph 6
For instance
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, 50 to 60 aged Japanese parents mostly pay their children’s university tuition fees.
Body paragraph 7
As the average marriage age shows, most Japanese marriage age at 30 years old and
then
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 have babies. which means around 50 to 60 aged persons are facing the payment.
Body paragraph 8
People should retire from their careers after the payment is done because the fee is quite expensive and parents shouldn’t restrict their children’s future careers
due to
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 a lack of savings.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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 everyone has the right to decide when they retire by themselves, I think that the age of fifty to sixty is the best time for retirement
due to
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 starting losing their energy and finishing raising their children.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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