IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

A child how he grows up depends on how they were brought up by their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#child #parents
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Nowadays, it is thought that
children
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 are making
future
Correct article usage
the future
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 bright for the country. And, the
growth
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 of
children
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 depends upon their
Add a missing verb
being take
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take
Replace the word
taken
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care
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 of by their
parents
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. In my opinion, I agree that
children
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's
growth
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 is determined by their
care
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 and
education
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.
Firstly
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, A child's
growth
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 really depends upon the atmosphere of the family.
In other words
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,
children
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 who are coming from
rich
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a rich
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 family, they would behave like rich people and
in contrast
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, poor
children
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 behave like
poor
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a poor
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person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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. The reason
of
Change preposition
for
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this
Linking Words
 is the way of taking
care
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 of their
children
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 by
parents
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.
Secondly
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, it is
also
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 depending on the family's thinking towards others. Research said that, a child copy most of the behaviour from their
parents
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 because of the hormones. It means
children
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 have either a positive mindset or a negative mindset based on their parent's hormones.
Thirdly
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,
Education
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 is performing a good role in an individual's
growth
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. Today's
parents
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 believe that good
education
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 is really good for their
children
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.
For example
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, a father, who is running a small business, put their
children
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 in higher
education
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 school so that they have a good reputation in the future.
Additionally
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, today's
parents
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also
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 encouraged
to
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apply
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their
children
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 to fulfil their dreams.
For instance
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,
children
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 are encouraged to go to the gym or the sports centre for relaxation from daily routines.
As a result
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, they become fit. In conclusion, I think, any
children
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's behaviour and attitude towards
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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people are really depending on the
take
Replace the word
taken
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care
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 of them by their
parents
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. Normally, good
children
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 are coming from good families and achieve high success in their life.
Submitted by writing7 on

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