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Band 6

A child how he grows up depends on how they were brought up by their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#child #parents
Nowadays, it is thought that
children
 are making
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 bright for the country. And, the
growth
 of
children
 depends upon their
Add a missing verb
being take
show examples
take
Replace the word
taken
show examples
care
 of by their
parents
. In my opinion, I agree that
children
's
growth
 is determined by their
care
 and
education
.
Firstly
, A child's
growth
 really depends upon the atmosphere of the family.
In other words
,
children
 who are coming from
rich
Add an article
a rich
show examples
 family, they would behave like rich people and
in contrast
, poor
children
 behave like
poor
Add an article
a poor
show examples
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
. The reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
 is the way of taking
care
 of their
children
 by
parents
.
Secondly
, it is
also
 depending on the family's thinking towards others. Research said that, a child copy most of the behaviour from their
parents
 because of the hormones. It means
children
 have either a positive mindset or a negative mindset based on their parent's hormones.
Thirdly
,
Education
 is performing a good role in an individual's
growth
. Today's
parents
 believe that good
education
 is really good for their
children
.
For example
, a father, who is running a small business, put their
children
 in higher
education
 school so that they have a good reputation in the future.
Additionally
, today's
parents
also
 encouraged
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
children
 to fulfil their dreams.
For instance
,
children
 are encouraged to go to the gym or the sports centre for relaxation from daily routines.
As a result
, they become fit. In conclusion, I think, any
children
's behaviour and attitude towards
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
people are really depending on the
take
Replace the word
taken
show examples
care
 of them by their
parents
. Normally, good
children
 are coming from good families and achieve high success in their life.
Submitted by writing7 on

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