IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

A child how he grows up depends on how they were brought up by their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, it is thought that
children
Use synonyms
 are making
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 bright for the country. And, the
growth
Use synonyms
 of
children
Use synonyms
 depends upon their
Add a missing verb
being take
show examples
take
Replace the word
taken
show examples
care
Use synonyms
 of by their
parents
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, I agree that
children
Use synonyms
's
growth
Use synonyms
 is determined by their
care
Use synonyms
 and
education
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, A child's
growth
Use synonyms
 really depends upon the atmosphere of the family.
In other words
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
 who are coming from
rich
Add an article
a rich
show examples
 family, they would behave like rich people and
in contrast
Linking Words
, poor
children
Use synonyms
 behave like
poor
Add an article
a poor
show examples
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
. The reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is the way of taking
care
Use synonyms
 of their
children
Use synonyms
 by
parents
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is
also
Linking Words
 depending on the family's thinking towards others. Research said that, a child copy most of the behaviour from their
parents
Use synonyms
 because of the hormones. It means
children
Use synonyms
 have either a positive mindset or a negative mindset based on their parent's hormones.
Thirdly
Linking Words
,
Education
Use synonyms
 is performing a good role in an individual's
growth
Use synonyms
. Today's
parents
Use synonyms
 believe that good
education
Use synonyms
 is really good for their
children
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, a father, who is running a small business, put their
children
Use synonyms
 in higher
education
Use synonyms
 school so that they have a good reputation in the future.
Additionally
Linking Words
, today's
parents
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 encouraged
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
children
Use synonyms
 to fulfil their dreams.
For instance
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
 are encouraged to go to the gym or the sports centre for relaxation from daily routines.
As a result
Linking Words
, they become fit. In conclusion, I think, any
children
Use synonyms
's behaviour and attitude towards
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
people are really depending on the
take
Replace the word
taken
show examples
care
Use synonyms
 of them by their
parents
Use synonyms
. Normally, good
children
Use synonyms
 are coming from good families and achieve high success in their life.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: