IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Many parents believe that children should read strict educational books and not any other entertainment books as it is were of time. Do you agree or disagree.

#parents #children #books #entertainment #time
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Reading
Add an article
a book
the book
show examples
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
 helps to develop different parts of a
child
Use synonyms
's brain. Some
parents
Use synonyms
 believe that their
kid
Fix the agreement mistake
kids
show examples
 should focus on reading educational books rather than
entertainment
Use synonyms
 books to use the
time
Use synonyms
 wisely. I highly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and would discuss the disadvantages of
such
Linking Words
 a position in
this
Linking Words
 essay. Nowadays
children
Use synonyms
 tend to spend more
time
Use synonyms
 on computers and other devices, playing games rather than reading or studying. To educate
children
Use synonyms
, some
parents
Use synonyms
 believe that their
time
Use synonyms
 should be spent on studies rather than
entertainment
Use synonyms
 and force
children
Use synonyms
 to focus only on educational literature to get good school grades.
However
Linking Words
, I believe, that modern
parents
Use synonyms
 stopped reading for pleasure
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, and only focus on making their
Use synonyms
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
 get good grades in school by focusing strictly on certain subjects to pursue a good career to become a lawyer, doctor or businessman in the future.  In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 the role of every parent is to introduce the world of reading to the
child
Use synonyms
 from a very early age by reading them fairy tales. Reading
entertainment
Use synonyms
 books can improve a
child
Use synonyms
's vocabulary, use of language grammar, and imagination. It is scientifically proven, that those
children
Use synonyms
 who were introduced to
entertainment
Use synonyms
 reading develop their speaking skills faster
as well as
Linking Words
 their creativity. I believe there should be a good balance between reading for pleasure and education. I
also
Linking Words
 think that
parents
Use synonyms
 should spend more
time
Use synonyms
 reading novels that might help to reduce stress and boost their creativity.
Submitted by anma.brand on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: