IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think it is necessary to use animals to test medicines or products intended for human use. Others, however, criticize this as animal cruelty. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Humans
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 have been experimenting on
animals
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 for decades. Most of the
animals
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 that underwent
such
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 processes are no longer alive. The primary reason for
this
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 is the necessity for
humans
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 to
test
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medicines
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 and
products
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 on living organisms other than people.
Animals
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 play a crucial role in ensuring that these inventions are safe for
humans
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 before they reach the market. In
this
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 essay, we will discuss both views: is animal testing necessary or is it human cruelty?
To begin
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 with, it is often inevitable for human health to
test
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 newly developed
products
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 or
medicines
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 on living beings before they are marketed. One reason for
this
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 is that
animals
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 share many similarities with
humans
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; if anything harmful is discovered during the process, the authorities can ban it or ensure it does not reach the public.
For instance
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, during the COVID-19 pandemic, it was essential to find
vaccines
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 that could withstand the virus and boost the human immune system. In
such
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 scenarios, it is necessary to
test
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vaccines
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 on
animals
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 to check the after-effects and efficiency of the medicine. It is not advisable to inject
vaccines
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 into people based solely on laboratory tests.
On the other hand
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, the continuous introduction of new
medicines
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 and
products
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 has contributed to the extinction or near-extinction of certain animal species.
For example
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, a study conducted by Madras University revealed a significant reduction in the number of white rats in the Kalios Forest area.
This
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, in turn, affects the food chain and results in an imbalance in ecosystems. In my opinion, it is essential to
test
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 certain inventions, especially
medicines
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 and
vaccines
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, on
animals
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 before administering them to
humans
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.
However
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, it is not advisable to constantly subject
animals
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 to threats for human needs.
To conclude
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, as responsible citizens, we can help control
this
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 situation by maximizing the use of vegan
products
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 available in the market, particularly for skincare needs.
This
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 can make a significant difference in reducing cruelty to
animals
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.

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task effectively, providing a balanced discussion of both views on animal testing. To achieve higher marks, you could delve deeper into each perspective, elaborating on more specific examples and adding further nuances to your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To enhance coherence and cohesion, consider using more transitional phrases and linking words to ensure smooth progression between your ideas.
task achievement
You've presented a clear and balanced discussion, engaging with both sides of the argument. This demonstrates a thorough understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the essay, and the conclusion provides a meaningful closing statement.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Animal testing
  • Ethical concerns
  • Medical advancements
  • Safety assessment
  • Vaccines
  • Antibiotics
  • Physiological similarities
  • Cruelty-free alternatives
  • In vitro testing
  • Computer modeling
  • Synthetic human tissue
  • Sentient beings
  • Potential toxicity
  • Alternative methods
  • Humane and cost-effective
  • Research institutions
  • Reliability
  • Ethical considerations
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