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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts below give data on the spending and consumption of resources by countries of the world and how the population is distributed. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below give data on the spending and consumption of resources by countries of the world and how the population is distributed. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given three charts summarise information on how different countries spend and consume various resources and the number of people in different parts of the
world
Use synonyms
. It can be clearly derived from the graph that even though most of the assets are utilized by the USA and Europe, it is merely a fourth of
Use synonyms
world's
Correct article usage
the world's
show examples
 population. Apart from that, it is unclear where people spend most of their income. The first chart shows that most of the expenditure is on unknown factors (40%) other than food, transportation or housing which is 24%, 18% and 12% respectively.
Secondly
Linking Words
, Asia is the biggest continent in the
world
Use synonyms
 with 57% of
inhabitants
Correct pronoun usage
its inhabitants
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.
However
Linking Words
, its contribution
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
utilization
Add an article
the utilization
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 of supplies is still unknown.
Moreover
Linking Words
, USA and Europe contribute equally, which is almost a quarter for each.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, almost
two thirds
Add a hyphen
two-thirds
show examples
 of their population
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 exploiting
world
Use synonyms
 resources. Africa,
however
Linking Words
, is merely a tenth of
Use synonyms
Add an article
the world
show examples
world
Change noun form
world's
show examples
 population and comes under
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
40% of other unknown countries using resources.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words world with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pie chart
  • global spending
  • resource consumption
  • population distribution
  • key trends
  • leading consumers
  • correlate
  • disparities
  • significant
  • sustainability
  • economics
  • management
  • analysis
  • overview
  • implies
  • mismatch
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