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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Others, however, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #zoos #animals
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It is considered by some that zoos are harsh places for
animals
Use synonyms
 to be caged in
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
and should be abolished,
while
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 others say that zoos can be safe places for wild creatures.
Although
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 those menageries are not freedom areas for most
animals
Use synonyms
, I believe that it’s crucial to offer suitable conditions for some rare and endangered species. On one side of the argument, many people support the view that a significant percentage of zoological gardens house their
animals
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 in cramped cages with very little space to move around or behave naturally.
Moreover
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,
this
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 can cause depression and distress for them, and prevent them
to live
Change preposition
from living
show examples
 in their natural habitat, where they can live freely. A friend of mine visited a wildlife park
last
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 year and noticed that lions and tigers pacing up and down in narrow pens,
as well as
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 eagles were restricted and unable to fly. Despite the above arguments, I am of the view that zoological gardens can be a protected location for many species that can not depend on themselves in some huge wild forests like some distinctive and rare bears.
Therefore
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, it is important to erect breeding programs that are facing extinction for that kind of animal.
For example
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, Giant Pandas are gradually becoming extinct in China, so it is decided to protect them in zoos and nature preserves. In conclusion, in spite of the fact that some argue that wildlife parks can limit some wild
animals
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 to living naturally, I realize that containment and care of endangered
animals
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 are achieved by guarding them in an ideal zoo environment that can save their lives and keep their kind
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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure to ensure a more organized and coherent flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they need to be more engaging and precise.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support the main points and ensure clarity and relevance throughout the essay.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • animal welfare
  • conservation
  • captive breeding
  • habitat
  • ethical issues
  • zoochosis
  • endangered species
  • genetic diversity
  • reintroduction programs
  • wildlife education
  • sanctuary
  • natural living conditions
  • artificial environments
  • behavioral enrichment
  • ecosystem
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