the chart below shows the aid form six developed countries to devloping countries from 2008-2009

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The bar chart presents the amount of aid in billion dollars from the US, Germany, UK, Japan, Netherlands, and Sweden to developing land in 2008-2010. The US is the only country the numbers in rescue have risen over or equal to 20 billion coins in all three periods. The highest numbers of help in the US were in 2010, which increased to 2500 million dollars.

Furthermore

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, the second region is Germany. There were steadily aided greater than 1000 million coins in 2009-2010, which is similar to in UK and Japan.

Whereas

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in the Netherlands and Sweden, the volume of assistance was under 10 billion coins in the period of 2008-2010. Of all amounts, Sweden had the lowest total, at 5400 million dollars in three years.

Consequently

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, the figures for aid from six developed nations demonstrated that the US had good finances to help the developing countries more than the others.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
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Grammar mistakes
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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

150 words

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the chart below shows the aid form six developed countries to devloping countries from 2008-2009

Studies suggest that many teenagers these days prefer socialising online to meeting one another in person. Why do you think this is the case? What measures could be taken to encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person?

Some people consider price as most important thing to think about when buying product (such as cell phone) or service (medical treatment). Do you agree or disagree?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

With the rise in popularity of the internet, newspaper will soon become a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree?