Some people think competitive sport is important for a child’s education. Others think it has negative effects on children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In the modern world, it is undeniable that competitive
sports
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play an increasingly important role in
children
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’s education. Some people believe that participation in competitive
sports
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is beneficial,
while
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others argue that it may have negative effects on young learners. In
this
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essay, an attempt will be made to examine both perspectives. Those who support competitive
sports
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provide some reasons to justify their view. One of the most apparent benefits is that
sports
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help
children
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develop important life skills. To illustrate, participating in competitions can teach discipline, teamwork, and perseverance.
For instance
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,
children
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who engage in
sports
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often learn how to set goals, handle pressure, and work collaboratively with others.
In addition
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, regular physical activity improves health and fitness, which contributes to
overall
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well-being and academic performance. Those who disagree with the above idea
also
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have some points that should not be overlooked. One major reason is that excessive competition may create stress and negatively affect
children
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’s mental health. To clarify, some
children
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may feel pressure to win, which can lead to anxiety or reduced self-esteem if they perform poorly.
For example
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, highly competitive environments may discourage less skilled
children
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from participating, limiting their enjoyment and confidence.
Furthermore
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, focusing too much on
sports
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may reduce the time available for academic studies. To recapitulate, it is evident that competitive
sports
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can help
children
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develop valuable skills and maintain good health,
while
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the main drawbacks include stress and potential negative impacts on self-esteem. Having considered both sides thoroughly, I have personally come to believe that competitive
sports
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are beneficial when they are properly managed, ensuring that
children
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enjoy participation without excessive pressure.

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task response
Give one more clear example in each body part.
task response
Make your own view a bit stronger in the last part.
coherence and cohesion
Add a short topic line at the start of each body part.
coherence and cohesion
Use link words with more care, and do not use too many formal ones.
task response
Some ideas are good, but a few need more detail.
task response
You answer both sides of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Your main ideas are easy to follow.
task response
Your opinion is clear in the end.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • life skills
  • teamwork
  • leadership
  • resilience
  • personal development
  • professional success
  • physical health
  • healthy lifestyle
  • obesity
  • real-world challenges
  • work ethic
  • cope with pressure
  • stress
  • burnout
  • mental health issues
  • unrealistic expectations
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • bullying
  • moral values
  • sportsmanship
  • overemphasis
  • academic pursuits
  • imbalance
  • undervalue
  • athletic success
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