Scientists believe that computers will become more intelligent than human Some find it is a positive trend while others think it is a negative development. Discuss earlier points and give your own opinion!

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Nowadays, there are a plethora of computers
Correct pronoun usage
that pass

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pass
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passes

The plural verb pass does not appear to agree with the singular subject plethora. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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human intelligence. Talking about it, people are separated into two main groups which are
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a group
the group
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a group
the group

The noun phrase group seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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group
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groups
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with the notion that it will be positive for our civilization and communities which see that it will be a negative development. In the following paragraphs,
this
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essay shall elucidate both paradigms and detail why the latest opinion is more relevant than the first notion.
To begin
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with, technologies which have autonomous decision-making will assist numerous aspects
in
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of

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our lives. To illustrate, some
eletric
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electric

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vehicles are constructed with
artifical
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artificial

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intelligence as an essential feature in
its
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their

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machine which can obliterate human error as a predominant reason
of
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for

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car crashes.
Consequently
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,
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

advanced innovation which has surpassed our ability in some decision-making will make our life
more
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apply

The double comparative more easier may be repetitive. Consider changing this to the appropriate comparative form.

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easier than
previous
Change preposition
in previous

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era
Fix the agreement mistake
eras

It seems that era may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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because it is able to assist us when we are in
a
Correct article usage
the

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middle of
the
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a

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situation which needs occasion like dropping determination quickly.
On the other hand
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some of us will have a paradigm that
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply

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will be a problem for human civilization in
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming

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era. To illustrate, when super-computers improve their ability
in
Change preposition
to

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a point which cannot be reached by us, they have
a
Correct article usage
the

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potency to unrecognize
command
Fix the agreement mistake
commands

It seems that command may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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from us.
As a result
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, several phenomena can happen like they might construct their own agenda or for the worst point, they can against us based on a paradigm that our species is a
threatnes
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threat

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.
In other words
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it will be a drawback for human existence, that being the case the author sees that it will be a negative development if we never concern
on
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about

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it.
To conclude
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, machines which have fascinating features to be more intelligent than us have a benefit
such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as they can assist us
for
Change preposition
in

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our daily routine like vehicles which are driven by
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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artificial.
Nevertheless
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, our lives can be
threated
Correct your spelling
treated
threatened

If you don’t want threated to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

,
specifically
Add a comma
,specifically

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase specifically. Consider adding a comma.

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if there is no regulation which can control about
developing
Replace the word
development

The word developing doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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of
super-computer
Correct article usage
a super-computer

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in view of it will make problems
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as unrecognizing our commands and seeing
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the human
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Add an article
the human

The noun phrase human seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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as a threat.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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