Some people believe that success means earning a lot of money. Others believe that success is defined by personal happiness. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #success #money #happiness

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The level of success of people is frequently associated with the amount of money they are able to generate.

On the other hand

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, some others consider that happiness is the real thermometer of accomplishments.

While

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it is true that wealth can provide pleasure ,

however

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, there are other parameters that determine whole prosperity.

Firstly

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, it is true that a prosperous financial situation can aid

to obtain

Change preposition

in obtaining

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moments of joy.

However

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, individuals focused merely on increasing their bank accounts most of the time neglect other important aspects of life.

For instance

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, a father

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

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works hard and has extended hours to provide for his family, might not have enough time to share with his wife and children

as well as

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to dedicate leisure time for himself.

Therefore

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this

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person might be having a high level of stress and feel miserable, and in my opinion, success is having an enjoyable life.

On the other hand

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, happiness can actually be equivalent to triumph. There are many other aspects in life that contribute to reaching a certain level of personal satisfaction;

For example

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, family, friends, hobbies, activities, and health, to name a few.

Although

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keeping a balance of all of them is not an easy task, it is possible and it can be acknowledged as progress. I am the idea that richness is only a means to create contentment but it is not everything. Taking all into consideration and

to conclude

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we can state that money is one isolated component that aids

to create

Change preposition

in creating

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well-being.

However

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, it by itself can not determine accomplishment. There are other elements necessary that contribute to creating happiness.

Hence

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, the latest can be considered a synonym for realization.

Submitted by davindergill98 on Thu Apr 06 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that relates to the topic and supports the main argument.

task achievement

Support your points with specific examples and details to demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

Develop a more structured introduction and conclusion to frame the essay effectively and present a concise and clear overview of your main points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Financial success
Personal happiness
Intrinsic measure
Contentment
Fulfillment
Nurturing relationships
Harmonious life
Career achievements
Social recognition
Subjective nature

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Some people believe that success means earning a lot of money. Others believe that success is defined by personal happiness. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

some people say that it is better to promote healthy lifestyles than spend so much money to treat obese people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

In some countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people believe that governments have the responsibility to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?