The pie chart shows the main reason why agricultural land becomes less productive.

The pie chart shows the main reason why agricultural land becomes less productive.
The charts illustrate the information on crucial causes of worldwide agricultural
land
degradation and each country's main reasons in North America,
Europe
and Oceania during the 1990s.
Overall
, over-grazing accounted for the largest proportion in
this
chart followed by
deforestation
while
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
comprised the smallest.
Also
, the most degraded region was
Europe
.
Europe
's main reason was
deforestation
. Looking at the first graph,
it is clear that
over-grazing was the most serious reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
land
corruption at 35%.
However
, the ratio of
deforestation
and over-cultivation was roughly the same with
deforestation
at 30% and 28% each. The figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
was the smallest and it is 7 times as little as over-grazing.
According to
the second graph, North America had the least
land
deterioration among the three areas at 5%
while
Europe
was the most degraded at 23%.
Also
, the most significant reason was different
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
regions
Fix the agreement mistake
region
show examples
. North America was affected
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
over-cultivation at 3.3% and
Europe
's main cause of
land
degradation was
deforestation
at 9.8%.
Finally
, Oceania was mainly affected
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
over-grazing at 11.3%
Submitted by jjhtoki on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words land, europe, deforestation with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: