some colleges encourage students to creatw business while they are still in school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
It is a common belief that operating could interrupt the studying progress.
However
, there is a more persuasive agreement that having personal company can help students
realize their idea goals during college period.
On the one hand, some people contend that students
must focus on their academic lessons and assignments. Starting their own business
will not become their career due to
they don’t have enough professional knowledge and experience. Moreover
, it may occupy their limited studying time. For instance
, some university students
tried to organize their commercial idea and neglected their school performance. As the result, the lack of experience led to their business
failed out. Even worse, they can not keep the step with their classmates.
Nevertheless
, having own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
business
is a good method for implementing their targets in
realistic. Operating companies may encounter abundant obstacles. Figuring a way out to deal with the problems may nurture the life experience that could not acquire in university. Change preposition
apply
For example
, Microsoft CEO, Bill Gates, was one of the most wealth celebrities worldwide. He quit school to pursue their own career transformed his knowledge to
commercial products and made a huge leap in computers. Change preposition
of
Furthermore
. His successful company is as same famous as Google, Amazon, and Facebook. Owning a company will confront considerable hindrances, but once people conquer the most difficult part would become a well
Change the adverb
good
leader
.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
leaders
although
starting one’s business
in college may waste time to gain more professional knowledge. There are still numerous successful examples if
Correct your spelling
of
students
overwhelming
obstacles surpassing their same-age peers.Change preposition
with overwhelming
Submitted by CC
on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!