some people say that devoting one;s tome to family activities is more important than spending time working. Others believe that dedicating one's tome to work is more important. Dicuss both these wiews and give your own opinion.

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There are differing opinions regarding that spending
time
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with their family or working. In the limited
time
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,
people
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should strike the balance between family relationships and careers. I firmly believe that connecting relationship is more vital. On the one hand, working is important to support the daily demanding. If
people
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couldn’t content financial support, family happiness can not be satisfied.
However
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, some
people
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work
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for achievement. To reach a higher position or operate their own career,
people
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devote their whole life to it and ignore their families.
For instance
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, parents sometimes miss their kid's growth periods just because they are busy with
work
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. Most of the parents were regretting
time
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cannot be through back and the parent-child relationship grew apart.
Nevertheless
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, in my perspective, spending
time
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with family is more valuable than
work
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. Children will not judge their parent's success or not. What they only care about is do their parents accompany them. Family is the place that gives the mind- supporting bringing happiness.
According to
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the family poll. The majority of respondents ranked family
time
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over
work
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when asked about the things which bring satisfaction to their lives.
People
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usually burden high pressure in their
work
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. In conclusion,
time
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used for
work
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is undeniably curial for financial support.
However
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, spending
time
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with family is a priority for me because they are my whole life.
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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