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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

some people believe that parents should devote more tome to helping their children with their schoolwork. others think that they should allocate more time to playing sports with their kids.

#people #parents #tome #children #schoolwork #time #sports #kids
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The nourishment of the
child
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 is a vital issue. Every parent hopes their kid can develop well in the future. Both
the
Correct article usage
apply
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academic
performance
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 and
exercise
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 are important during growth periods. I firmly believe that in the limited
time
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 of the growing children should spend more
time
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 on study. To grow up with a healthy body, playing sports and exercising are inevitable works. Not only could strengthen their body but
also
Linking Words
 build up the relationship between the family.
For instance
Linking Words
, my dad usually played basketball with me and my mom taught me yoga when I was a
child
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. I enjoyed the fantastic
time
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 that we experienced together.
This
Linking Words
 is helpful to ease my academic pressure and it might be the reason why
that
Correct word choice
apply
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I become so tall. I think I
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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a
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apply
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strong body can attribute to my parents doing
exercise
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 with me.
However
Linking Words
, I contend that parents should pay more attention to their kid’s school
performance
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. Because kids will play with their peers instinctively that could support enough
exercise
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to
Change preposition
for
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 the
child
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. One of the parent’s characters is supporting their
child
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 on their school assignment. knowledge is an essential ability to keep on the social trend. To make their
child
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 more competitive that academic
performance
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 is quite important.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, learning more knowledge could broaden their horizon to attach more opportunities in the future. In conclusion, doing
exercise
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 can make their
child
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be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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healthier.
However
Linking Words
, they will play sports with their classmate rather than their parents. So, I consider that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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parent should take more
time
Use synonyms
 on their children's assignments and academic
performance
Use synonyms
.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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