The map illustrates the devlopment of Youngsville in New Zealand over a quarter of a century period,starting from 1980;while the picture indicates differences between a cinema in 1980 and itself now.

The map illustrates the devlopment of Youngsville in New Zealand over a quarter of a century period,starting from 1980;while the picture indicates differences between a cinema in 1980 and itself now.
The map illustrates the
devlopment
Correct your spelling
development
of
Youngsville
in New Zealand over a quarter of a century period,starting from 1980;
while
the picture indicates differences between
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
cinema in 1980 and itself now. It is noticeable that
,
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apply
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Youngsville
in 2005 have
a loads
Correct the article-noun agreement
loads
a load
show examples
of up-to-date facilities.By
constrast
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contrast
,the cinema today
Add a missing verb
has seen
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seen
Wrong verb form
saw
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a downgrade,it is cut down a number of
theaters
Change the spelling
theatres
show examples
.
Intitally
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Initially
,
Youngsville
’s above
side
of the Alanah
river
Correct your spelling
River
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
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had enormous changes.A new stadium for numerous purposes has been built.
Youngsville
town
also
have
two
more car park,
one
of them was located near the stadium,the other
one
had a place on the riverbank,
whereas
on the centre of the river was for rowing activities.The railway was lengthened to
connected
Wrong verb form
connect
show examples
two
seperated
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separated
separate
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
show examples
of
Youngsville
.A
harbor
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harbour
show examples
was constructed next to the railway. Moving on to the other
side
of
Youngsville
,
Correct article usage
the residetal
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residetal
Correct your spelling
residential
area has been replaced by an industrial region with
one
factory,
one
warehouse and
two
skycrapers
Correct your spelling
skyscrapers
.The industrial region has been extended
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
the left
side
of
two
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
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with three factories and
one
ware house
Correct your spelling
warehouse
show examples
.Other levels remain unchanged.
Submitted by luudang97 on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words youngsville, side, two, one with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "differences" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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