Some people prefer to play team sports, while others prefer to play individual sports. Discuss the advantages of each. Then indicate which you prefer and why.

Nowadays, some individuals think that playing a sport which requires teamwork is more
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
.
Nevertheless
, several people choose to do
sports
individually.
Although
it is beneficial to enhance teamwork skills
while
playing
sports
, I firmly believe that it is going to be more convenient for us to organize things independently from
others
while
doing workouts, as discussed in
this
essay. One advantage of doing
sports
together within groups is likely to build each other’s ability to work as a team. It is evident that
such
soft-skill might be gained through the increase of togetherness among
others
in order to achieve one goal.
For instance
, those who play volleyball are trained to communicate their strategies effectively before the game begins.
Consequently
, each member will maximize their effort to win against the same competitors.
On the other hand
, doing
sports
independently is certainly going to be more efficient. People will not have to depend on the availability of
others
when it comes to physical activities. To illustrate, someone’s willingness to go to a gym every weekend without having to wait for
others
' availability will attain their body goals effectively.
Therefore
, if one comes to fulfil their commitments consistently, it is more likely to become a regular habit. In conclusion, it is good to obtain teamwork skills
while
doing
sports
at the same time.
However
, I agree that it is crucial to maintain our commitment towards our own health by having a regular workout, without having to rely on other people’s
schedule
Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
show examples
.
Thus
, taking care of our physical well-being is our own responsibility.
Submitted by michellyonggo on

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coherence cohesion
While the essay is generally well-organized, try to enhance the introduction by briefly summarizing the advantages of both team and individual sports before stating your preference. This will provide a more balanced overview.
task achievement
Consider providing a bit more depth to your main points; for example, elaborate on how team sports can foster a sense of community or how individual sports can promote self-discipline.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument, discussing advantages of both team and individual sports.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is clear, with a strong introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the main ideas effectively.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph is well-supported with relevant examples, which bolster your points effectively.
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