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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

#rise #world #population #humanity #time
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To begin
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 with.
It is clear that
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 there is a significantly continuous
population
Use synonyms
growth
Use synonyms
 in the world, which is the main
problem
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 that we have to deal with at the present time.
Thus
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, I strongly agree
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that the continued rise in
global
Correct article usage
the global
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population
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 is
urgent
Add an article
an urgent
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problem
Use synonyms
 faced by mankind, if we keep ignoring
this
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problem
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,
otherwise
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, it will lead to some counterproductive things.
The one
Change the article
One
show examples
 of the causes is that
food
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 insecurity is attributed to
population
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increasing
Replace the word
increase
show examples
.
For instance
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,
there
Correct word choice
if there
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 is insufficient
food
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 con offer
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
,
those
Correct word choice
and those
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 who can not be supplied with
food
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 will result in famine.
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According to a
Change preposition
A
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 study indicated that there are going to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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100 million people died because of famine. The other causes are that global warming
is resulted
Change to the active voice
results
has resulted
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 from
population
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growth
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. Increasing
in
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apply
show examples
carbon dioxide emissions will contribute to
greenhouse
Add an article
the greenhouse
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 effect,
also
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,
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population
Correct article usage
the population
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 keep going up will drain
the
Correct article usage
apply
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energy and resources,
such
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 as oil fields, fossil fuels and water resources.
However
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,
continued
Add an article
the continued
show examples
population
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increasing
Replace the word
increase
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 might bring about some merits, take labour productivity
for example
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, the
mor
Correct your spelling
more
 labour force could offer, the higher productivity could be.
Moreover
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, a country having more people could bring more people who are talented, which can promote national development. In the end,
although
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 continued
population
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growth
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 has some adverse and drawbacks, the disadvantages,
such
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 as
food
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 insecurity and global warming are the greatest
problem
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should
Correct pronoun usage
that should
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 be faced by mankind,
hence
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, we should put more effort into handling
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the problems that
comes
Change the verb form
come
show examples
 from
population
Use synonyms
growth
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by miainspirit on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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