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Band 5

Because of the rising cost of housing, many young people are increasingly being forced to live with their parents into their 30s . Are there more advantages or disadvantages to this trend?

#cost #people #parents #trend
Most young aged into their 30s pushing them to become
depending
Replace the word
dependent
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their
parents
since
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the rising value of housing.
This
 current situation
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 more
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
drawbacks to young
people
 and especially to their
parents
. At
this
 time, some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
youth
Add an article
the youth
show examples
 are more
relying
Replace the word
reliant
show examples
to
Change the preposition
on
upon
show examples
 their
parents
 and not capable to live on their own. As a
Correct the article-noun agreement
result
show examples
results
Add a comma
,results
show examples
 they are not developing skills when it comes to interaction
also
Correct word choice
but also
show examples
 solving a
problem
as
Change preposition
in
show examples
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 own way.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, guardians are the one who suffers
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
this
 action and one of the
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
 why their children
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 still depending on them.
In addition
, we all know in our world
all
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are expensive to buy
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 leads to many
people
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
deciding to stay
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their
parents
as
Change preposition
for
show examples
 free
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
,
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
,
also
 other things they need.
However
, if
still
Add a comma
,still
show examples
this
 routine
maintain
Change the verb form
maintains
show examples
 sooner or later their own family or future children will
depending
Wrong verb form
depend
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 them as a cycle and cause
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our society a big
problem
.
In contrast
, some of them are not working and chose to stay at home all the time especially, to other
people
 with
neurological
Add an article
a neurological
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 they need much more attention and interaction
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 other
people
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 will give them a chance to improve their intellectual side.
To conclude
, living
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 our
parents
Change noun form
parent's
parents'
show examples
 home is not a
problem
.
Nevertheless
, we need to know the limitations
as well as
need
Add an article
the need
a need
show examples
 to move on our own to have a good purpose
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 our life even so to our
parents
. Let's help and give them what they
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
deserve.
Submitted by cristelsarondo on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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