IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

After leaving school or university, young people should choose a job or career that they love, rather than one that pays the best salary. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#school #university #people #job #career #love #salary
A job that aligns with our passion with high monetary value is everyone's dream.
However
, most of the time, reality strikes with different situations where we only can win one choice. There is a heated argument regarding which one matters, money or love. I believe that prioritizing work satisfaction is more necessary than compensation.
This
 essay will discuss both sides
along with
 relevant examples. First of all, a job is similar to a long marathon ,not a sprint run. We work up to 30 years which means we spend most of our lives working. Salary does pay the expenses but working in a profession that you love helps you to keep going.
In addition
, we dedicate five to seven days a week to climbing the corporate ladder.
This
 can be years of nightmares that will haunt us and destroy our mental health or the other way around.
For example
, I feel much better after leaving my previous job because it doesn't suit my vision and devotion.
Therefore
, granting yourself to do what drives your heart crazy can boost your well beings.
On the other hand
, as an adult, we deal with bills, bills and more bills as we get older. As the year goes by, youngster likes to extend their responsibility by buying a house and getting married.
Hence
, we can't deny that we need to gain enough money to pay expenses.
For instance
, the average housing price in my city can't be lower than 1 billion rupiahs.
Thus
, big compensation gives us the flexibility to fulfil our needs. In conclusion, putting ourselves in a position of pursuing a career that our
heart's
Change noun form
hearts
show examples
 desire improve our mental stability and keep us going for years.
On the other hand
, a high salary is tempting because it will lessen our debt burden. I completely agree that chasing our dream is worth more than what pennies can offer. After a throughout analysis, I recommend to keep running for an occupation that we're dying to do but choose an employer that offers an adequate cheque.
Submitted by alifahrc on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: