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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagram below shows how leather goods are produced. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting main features.

The diagram below shows how leather goods are produced. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting main features.
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The process chart reveals information about the production stages of
leather
Use synonyms
 goods.
Overall
Linking Words
, the process is quite simple and has numerous stages, starting from the drying of animal
skin
Use synonyms
 and ending with the manufacturing of different
leather
Use synonyms
 products.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, animal
skin
Use synonyms
 is dried under the heat of the sun. After that, it is transported to the
factory
Use synonyms
 by truck for processing
further
Linking Words
.
Then
Linking Words
 after, a mixture of water and lime was used to wash it.
Further
Linking Words
, it is soaked by a chemical, called lime, followed by flattening in the roller to flatten dried
skin
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a process dried
skin
Use synonyms
 is soaked by Tannin, which is a mixture of water and vegetable matter.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is polished by machine before being transported to a
factory
Use synonyms
. After reaching a
factory
Use synonyms
, it is processed by machinery to produce different types of
leather
Use synonyms
 goods. A
factory
Use synonyms
 produced shoes, wallets, and ladies' foot ware from
leather
Use synonyms
 material.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words leather, skin, factory with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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