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Band 4.5

in some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from healthy problem as a result of eating too much fast food. it is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extend do you agree or disagree ?

#countries #people #food #governments #tax
It is thought that governments need to increase the tax on
street
food
 because it decreases
people
's health problems. I completely agree with
this
 and in my ,opinion it could cause
people
eat
Add the particle
to eat
show examples
 much less than in the past if higher tax applies by governments.
Firstly
 in my point of view if government boost the tax on
street
foods
 the
price
 will increase
therefore
 most
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 will prefer to have their meals at the home. in other ,words if the fast
food
price
 increases young community
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
 students will not be able to eat always Humbergers they would be
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sure more Slim and healthy.
For instance
 in my own country Afghanistan after an extension on
street
food
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
price
Add a comma
,price
show examples
people
 eat more in the house than outside.
That is
 why right now the percentage of
people
 below 20 years old with high cholesterol in Afghanistan is lower
thanin
Correct your spelling
than in
than
a country like the United States. ,
Secondly
Add a comma
,Secondly
show examples
 the way I see it looks that if the cost of meals
such
 as Burgers and Pizza increases the traditional
foods
 which are very beneficial for the body will find more funs. we can say that when
people
 are unable to buy
street
foods
 automatically they would
chose
Change the verb form
choose
show examples
foods
 like Pasta or vegetables that
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 no disadvantages for the human body, for ,example the
price
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
street
foods
 in countries like
china
Correct your spelling
China
show examples
 is higher than in countries like England , men and women eats more healthy
food
 and they have
low
Add an article
a low
show examples
 percentage of disease. To
sume
Correct your spelling
sum
some
 up, I strongly believe that the idea to increase the cost
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
Street
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
 will have many advantages since it decreases
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
food
 sales and keeps
people
 slim,feat and healthy.
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • fast food consumption
  • higher taxes
  • discourage
  • additional tax revenue
  • healthcare initiatives
  • personal responsibility
  • public education
  • dangers of fast food
  • rising obesity rates
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