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Band 4.5

Levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world. What are the reasons for this, and suggest some solutions

#levels #youth #crime #cities #world
It has been noticed that juvenile delinquency has grown over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent years. As the main root causes of
this
 current phenomenon could be associated with a lack of parental involvement in youngsters’ lives and not participating in extra-curricular activities organized by schools. Solutions will be provided below To start with, it is
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
secret
Correct article usage
a secret
show examples
 that one of the contributing factors to juvenile crime is losing
active
Add an article
the active
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 role of
parents
 in their
children
’s life.
In other words
, nowadays a significant proportion of
parents
 are busy working hard in
this
 hectic world. They have to devote much more
time
 to work than
children
 in order to earn enough money. As they work the whole day,
children
 are left alone on their own.
As a result
, they may make bad friends outside the family which can lead to crime. Another reason is not having something to do. To be more specific, not all
children
 have an opportunity to pursue their interests.
Consequently
, they try to fill their
time
 with some kind of worthless activities. The concern is, if someone asks them to do something illegal, they are inclined to do it since they have nothing to do and they want fun.
This
 fun might end up being
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
behind the bars.
For example
, a boy in my
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
 was just sitting near his house and a strange man asked him to give a box to another man sitting in a car close to them. At that moment the police came and arrested the boy and the strange man. If a boy had something to be engaged in, he would not have been charged. To resolve the existing predicament, the primary responsibility lies on
parents
. To be more precise, these days,
parents
 are not allocating
sufficient
Add an article
the sufficient
a sufficient
show examples
 amount of
time
 for their
children
 meaning youngsters are left
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their own will. They have almost no one to hear them, to guide them, to give them advice when they
need
Correct pronoun usage
itneed
show examples
.
Therefore
, it would be nice if they make
time
 for their
children
, they will be aware of
children
’s lives.
To sum up
, it could be restated that youth crime has been increasing all over the
word
Correct your spelling
world
show examples
. To tackle it,
parents
 should try to be with
children
 more
Submitted by Murod / Maksud on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • surge
  • productive activities
  • quality education
  • social media
  • peer pressure
  • economic disparity
  • disadvantaged backgrounds
  • legitimate means
  • inclusive education
  • mentorship
  • community policing
  • youth engagement
  • early intervention
  • constructive pathways
  • social services
  • at-risk families
  • root causes
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