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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think scientific research should focus on solving world health problems. Others think that there are more important issues. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #research #focus #world #health
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Nowadays, with the strong development of 4.0 technology,
people
's lives are rich and diverse.
Along with
 that development
is
Change the verb form
are
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 the constant efforts of
people
 and to do that, the core issue we need is
health
. Some
people
 think that scientific research should focus on solving world
health
 problems. Others think there are more important issues. So in
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will discuss them.
Health
 is considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the most precious thing in human life. Having
health
 is having everything. Only when we have good
health
 can we successfully complete the tasks as expected
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 Those who are unlucky enough to get sick will fall into a difficult situation and have to rely on
people
 around a lot. But
along with
health
, the surrounding factors
also
 contribute not small.
For example
, the natural
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
also
 greatly affects human life. Or inventions or
people
 around a lot. But
along with
health
, the surrounding factors
also
 contribute not small.
For example
, the natural environment
also
 greatly affects human life. Or inventions or phenomena that have not been resolved will
also
contritue
Correct your spelling
contribute
 to the development of the country. In conclusion, I agree with the idea of solving world
heath
Correct your spelling
health
show examples
 problems, but
besides
 that, it still
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 to be combined with other important factors to create a balance for both.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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