Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

These days, there is a controversy about which one is a better ability for
children
, competition or
co-operation
Correct your spelling
cooperation
show examples
. Some
people
think it is more beneficial for
children
to learn how to compete.
However
,
others
believe that
children
with a
sense
of
co-operation
Correct your spelling
cooperation
show examples
will become more helpful adults, which is the same opinion as me. On the one hand, the former
group
's claim is based on the working environment of the real world.
People
should compete with
others
during their whole lives.
For example
, companies provide the opportunity for workers who make better results to progress or earn more salaries. It means that employees need to complete some tasks more successfully than
others
.
Thus
, a
sense
of competition is the best motivator for
people
to succeed.
For
this
reason, those
people
think
children
need to practice how to compete with
others
before being adults.
Nevertheless
, these days,
co-operation
Correct your spelling
cooperation
show examples
skills are more useful in the real field.
This
is because many businesses require their employees to do
group
projects.
For instance
, workers in a marketing company form a team and make one result by sharing ideas.
In addition
, most
people
who only have a
sense
of competition usually do not consider
others
, leading to selfish
people
. They will strongly claim their opinion, not accept
others
'
thought
Fix the agreement mistake
thoughts
show examples
, provoking conflicts. Studies have shown that a
group
composed of
people
who did not know how to work with colleagues made worse results than other groups.
Thus
,
co-operation
Correct your spelling
cooperation
show examples
is a more essential
sense
for
children
to adapt
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
the real world after they grow up. All things considered, there is
each
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
reason why
children
should acquire each ability.
However
, it is true that the latter
group
's opinion has more
supports
Fix the agreement mistake
support
show examples
.
Thus
, I firmly believe the reasons for learning about the methods of
co-operation
is more imperative for
children
than the opposite view.
Submitted by eunbi_0915 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • compete
  • cooperate
  • useful
  • adults
  • skills
  • motivation
  • drive
  • resilience
  • failure
  • workplace
  • empathy
  • social skills
  • reduce
  • stress
  • pressure
  • balanced
  • approach
  • ideal
What to do next:
Look at other essays: