In many countries, women are allowed to take maternity leave from their jobs during the first months after the birth of their baby. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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In today’s society, many countries allow

women

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to take

vacation

Fix the agreement mistake

vacations

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taking

Change the verb form

take

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their baby for a few months. Some argue that it is beneficial for promoting the birth rate,

while

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others believe that it would have a negative effect on

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women’s

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careers. In my opinion, I believe there are more advantages than drawbacks. First of all,

women

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can have a lot of time to recover their bodies. It is well known that giving birth to a child consumes

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women’s

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physical energy, especially during the first few months, and

this

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situation leads

women

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to be unable to start work immediately.

Secondly

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women

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can accompany and look after their

babies

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For example

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, newborn

babies

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, who almost need to be fed every two hours, can receive regular feedings if their mothers are at home.

Additionally

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, during the period of maternity, the mother and child can become closer to each other. Some studies have shown that newborn

babies

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are lacking security. They are transitioning from the mother’s womb to an unfamiliar environment and need to establish a relationship with their parents.

Thus

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, it is beneficial for a child’s growth to have the mother’s accompany.

However

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, some people argue that it has a negative effect on

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women’s

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careers if they do not work for a few months.

For instance

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, not only would

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women’s

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former positions be replaced by others, but their salaries would

also

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decrease. But I believe that only when

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women’s

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physical and emotional states become better can they work efficiently. In conclusion,

while

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there are some disadvantages of maternity leave, I think society and companies can provide some approaches to help

women

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minimize the negative impacts on their careers.

Thus

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, I believe that the advantages of maternity leave outweigh the drawbacks,

such

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as helping

women

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rebuild their bodies, take care of

babies

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, and establish relationships.

61260881Wed Nov 13 2024

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task response

Your introduction sets the stage for your arguments, but it could benefit from more clarity in stating your thesis statement. Try to clearly outline the thesis with specific points that will be addressed in the essay.

coherence cohesion

Improving paragraph transitions will enhance the flow of your essay. Using linking words or phrases will help connect different parts of your essay more smoothly.

task achievement

You provided relevant examples that support your points, such as the importance of maternal presence for newborn babies.

coherence cohesion

Each paragraph contains a distinct main idea supported by arguments and examples, which strengthens your essay's structure.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

301 words

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In many countries, women are allowed to take maternity leave from their jobs during the first months after the birth of their baby. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do?

Some people believe that it is good for children to do chores. Others, however, say that children should not be asked to do household tasks. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Machines are replacing humans in the manual workforce. Do you think the positive effects outweigh the negative effects?

Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.