In many countries, women are allowed to take maternity leave from their jobs during the first months after the birth of their baby. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
In today’s society, many countries allow
women
to take vacation
to Fix the agreement mistake
vacations
taking
their baby for a few months. Some argue that it is beneficial for promoting the birth rate, Change the verb form
take
while
others believe that it would have a negative effect on women’s
careers. In my opinion, I believe there are more advantages than drawbacks.
First of all, women
can have a lot of time to recover their bodies. It is well known that giving birth to a child consumes women’s
physical energy, especially during the first few months, and this
situation leads women
to be unable to start work immediately.Secondly
, women
can accompany and look after their babies
. For example
, newborn babies
, who almost need to be fed every two hours, can receive regular feedings if their mothers are at home. Additionally
, during the period of maternity, the mother and child can become closer to each other. Some studies have shown that newborn babies
are lacking security. They are transitioning from the mother’s womb to an unfamiliar environment and need to establish a relationship with their parents. Thus
, it is beneficial for a child’s growth to have the mother’s accompany.
However
, some people argue that it has a negative effect on women’s
careers if they do not work for a few months. For instance
, not only would women’s
former positions be replaced by others, but their salaries would also
decrease. But I believe that only when women’s
physical and emotional states become better can they work efficiently.
In conclusion, while
there are some disadvantages of maternity leave, I think society and companies can provide some approaches to help women
minimize the negative impacts on their careers. Thus
, I believe that the advantages of maternity leave outweigh the drawbacks, such
as helping women
rebuild their bodies, take care of babies
, and establish relationships.Submitted by 61260881 on
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task response
Your introduction sets the stage for your arguments, but it could benefit from more clarity in stating your thesis statement. Try to clearly outline the thesis with specific points that will be addressed in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Improving paragraph transitions will enhance the flow of your essay. Using linking words or phrases will help connect different parts of your essay more smoothly.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples that support your points, such as the importance of maternal presence for newborn babies.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph contains a distinct main idea supported by arguments and examples, which strengthens your essay's structure.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...
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