Some people believe that money is the major source of happiness in life. do you strongly agree or disagree?

#people #money #source #happiness #life

this

period of inflation, many

people

advocate that wealth plays a vital role in anyone's happy

life

. It is true that money is required to fulfil our basic needs

such

as food, shelter, education and clothes. In my opinion, I strongly agree with

this

notion and my opinion will be discussed in

further

paragraphs

along with

a suitable conclusion. Supporting my agreement with the given statement, I firmly believe that, sufficient money is required to dream big and achieve something. To cite an example, if we are secured with minimum needs

then

we can think about higher studies.

Moreover

, because of modernity everyone tends to have luxuries and

leads

Correct subject-verb agreement

lead

show examples

costly

Correct article usage

a costly

show examples

life

, they believe that those luxuries and comforts are required to be happy in

life

For example

, a study conducted in a rich country revealed that

people

are leading happy

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

because of their wealth. Explaining some of the other supporting points in favour of

this

statement, it is true that the cost of basic needs

such

as groceries and house rents are increasing every year.

As a result

people

are not able to live peacefully if they do not get a proper income.

Also

, school fees and health care

cost

Fix the agreement mistake

costs

show examples

are

Verb problem

have

show examples

doubled

this

year.

For instance

, a survey conducted in Hong Kong proved with numbers that middle-class

people

majorly spend their income on school fees and hospital bills. In conclusion, I would like to say that money is important to lead a happy

life

. I believe that the aforementioned points are strongly supporting my viewpoint.

Submitted by janardhan.gangineni on Fri Apr 07 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion should be more developed and should effectively summarize the main points. Ensure that the logical order and structure of the essay is consistent throughout.

task achievement

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task and presents comprehensive ideas. Ensure that the introduction and conclusion effectively address the prompt and provide a clear overview of the essay's content.

lexical resource

The essay demonstrates good use of vocabulary and adequate range of words. However, strive to use more varied lexical resources and expressions to enhance the quality of writing.

grammatical range

The essay shows a good command of grammatical structures and demonstrates a range of complex sentences. However, pay attention to article usage, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structures to ensure accuracy and coherence.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Some people believe that starting school at early age is very benificial for children while others believe that children must stay home an attend school at the age of seven. In your opinion,what are the advantages of attending school before the age of seven.
In modern society,young children should go to school for accepted knowledge.Howewer,there is an argument regarding this topic.While some people believe that starting school at early age is very benificial for them develop their social skills,other parts believe that children must stay home an attend school at the age of seven.With these viewpoints,both opinions andy perspective will be discussed this essay.
4.5
band
Both government investment in public transport systems and reductions in public transport ticket prices would help to reduce transport pollution greatly.
It is said that investing in systems of public transport by the government and also reducing the price of public transport tickets, would have apositive effects on reduction of transport pollution. I strongly believe that both of these two ways would decrease pollution of transportation.
6.5
band
Some people think that cars should be banned from city centers to reduce pollution. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is a dramatic growth in the number of people having their own private vehicles. Due to the increased wages, economic prosperity and depletion in car prices, people are more likely to afford vehicles but it has led to various serious problems like a polluted environment, traffic jams and various health issues. Keeping these reasons in mind I think there should be limitations on owning private vehicles rather than completely banning them.
6.5
band
some people rely too much on doctors instead of taking care of their own health. they think all health problems can just be fixed by visiting doctors. what problems could this approach to healthcare cause and how might they be solved?
Excessive reliance on doctors for health concerns rather than taking personal responsibility for one's well-being can lead to several detrimental effects. Firstly, it may result in a reactive rather than proactive approach to health, where individuals only seek medical attention once symptoms become severe. This can lead to delayed diagnosis and treatment of underlying health issues, potentially worsening outcomes.
4.5
band
Some people believe that children's time outside of school should be filled with scheduled activities such as art and music classes and sports. Others feel that children need free time to play and relax. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
While some people think childrean have to spend their time in some classes like art and music or sports activities after their schools othe groups think that is better to let them to be free I completly agree with rather group.

Some people believe that money is the major source of happiness in life. do you strongly agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that starting school at early age is very benificial for children while others believe that children must stay home an attend school at the age of seven. In your opinion,what are the advantages of attending school before the age of seven.

Both government investment in public transport systems and reductions in public transport ticket prices would help to reduce transport pollution greatly.

Some people think that cars should be banned from city centers to reduce pollution. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some people rely too much on doctors instead of taking care of their own health. they think all health problems can just be fixed by visiting doctors. what problems could this approach to healthcare cause and how might they be solved?

Some people believe that children's time outside of school should be filled with scheduled activities such as art and music classes and sports. Others feel that children need free time to play and relax. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.