Some people believe that money is the major source of happiness in life. do you strongly agree or disagree?
In
this
period of inflation, many people
advocate that wealth plays a vital role in anyone's happy life
. It is true that money is required to fulfil our basic needs such
as food, shelter, education and clothes. In my opinion, I strongly agree with this
notion and my opinion will be discussed in further
paragraphs along with
a suitable conclusion.
Supporting my agreement with the given statement, I firmly believe that, sufficient money is required to dream big and achieve something. To cite an example, if we are secured with minimum needs then
we can think about higher studies. Moreover
, because of modernity everyone tends to have luxuries and leads
Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
costly
Correct article usage
a costly
life
, they believe that those luxuries and comforts are required to be happy in life
. For example
, a study conducted in a rich country revealed that people
are leading happy life
because of their wealth.
Explaining some of the other supporting points in favour of Fix the agreement mistake
lives
this
statement, it is true that the cost of basic needs such
as groceries and house rents are increasing every year. As a result
, people
are not able to live peacefully if they do not get a proper income. Also
, school fees and health care cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
are
doubled Verb problem
have
this
year. For instance
, a survey conducted in Hong Kong proved with numbers that middle-class people
majorly spend their income on school fees and hospital bills.
In conclusion, I would like to say that money is important to lead a happy life
. I believe that the aforementioned points are strongly supporting my viewpoint.Submitted by janardhan.gangineni on
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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion should be more developed and should effectively summarize the main points. Ensure that the logical order and structure of the essay is consistent throughout.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task and presents comprehensive ideas. Ensure that the introduction and conclusion effectively address the prompt and provide a clear overview of the essay's content.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates good use of vocabulary and adequate range of words. However, strive to use more varied lexical resources and expressions to enhance the quality of writing.
grammatical range
The essay shows a good command of grammatical structures and demonstrates a range of complex sentences. However, pay attention to article usage, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structures to ensure accuracy and coherence.