Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Say why you think this is the case and what effect this has on the individual and society in general.
People
nowadays spent less time
on leisure activities or to cultivate
personal interests, Change the verb form
cultivating
one
of the cogent reasons is Correct word choice
and one
due to
high
competitive and Replace the word
highly
fast changing
Add a hyphen
fast-changing
societies
. The phenomena as such
not only provoking
negative Wrong verb form
provoke
affects
on Correct your spelling
effects
individuals
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
deriving
drawbacks to Wrong verb form
derive
societies
in long term.
To begin
with, it is hard for people
to find balance
between work and life since modern technologies are constantly being introduced into workplaces to enhance productivity. To remainAdd an article
a balance
the balance
competitive
Add the comma(s)
, competitive people,
people
need to spent
more Change the verb
spend
time
on study, and the acquisition of new skills with full-time
jobs could be time consuming
, which left no Add a hyphen
time-consuming
time
for people
to develop their personal interests. However
, the lack of leisure activities could lead to various negative effects to
both Change preposition
on
individuals
and societies
.
First of all, spending long hours on
working or studying could stimulate Change preposition
apply
negative
influence on Correct article usage
a negative
people
, mentally and physically. While
the working hours in commercial institutions is
getting longer over Change the verb form
are
time
, individuals
barely have time
to have personal time
, which could increase the
anxiety and affect their sleeping Correct article usage
apply
qualities
, leading to various diseases, including obesity and depression. Fix the agreement mistake
quality
On the other hand
, entertainment industries, including movie theaters
and restaurants, could endure a decrease Change the spelling
theatres
of
revenue Change preposition
in
due to
a large population who work too hard to be able to enjoy life. Which not only will restrict the development of local
economy, but reduce Correct article usage
the local
the
work opportunities.
Correct article usage
apply
To conclude
, a high
competitive Replace the word
highly
societies
is the main cause of a drastic drop Change the noun form
society
of
Change preposition
in
time
people
spent on leisure activities, which could derive various negative effects to
Change preposition
on
individuals
and societies
, be it the increase of correlative diseases, and
the shrinking of Correct word choice
or
local
Correct article usage
the local
economic
.Replace the word
economies
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The Greeting
Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.
Always start an informal letter in the ways:
- Dear + name
- Hi / Hello + name
‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.
For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:
- Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
- Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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