IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Globalization is creating a world of one culture and destroying national identity. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#globalization #world #culture #identity
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Modern
techonolgy
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technology
 is making the
world
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 so predictable by opening the same stores all over the
world
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such
Linking Words
 as Macdonald, KFC, Apple
store
Fix the agreement mistake
stores
show examples
, extra. It is claimed
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some people that it
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a bad impact on national identity,
while
Linking Words
 other have opposing thinking. I
am
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
totaly
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totally
 disagree with the
statment
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statement
 and think making the
world
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 one culture is not
destorying
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destroying
 the specific
indentity
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identity
 of a
country
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. All
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of stores
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 opened around the globe to easily access the food, clothes and product that they use in their
country
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.
These
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
 all kind of stuff is just a daily useable thing rather than a national
indetity
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identity
. There are
alot
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a lot
 of things in the
world
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 that can not be seen in more than one
country
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 that
make
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makes
show examples
 it
uniuqe
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unique
.
For example
Linking Words
,
pyaramid
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pyramid
 can only be seen in
egypt
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Egypt
show examples
or
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and
show examples
Correct article usage
the stautue
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stautue
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statue
 of
liberty
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Liberty
show examples
 is only in America. Even though the invention of the
airplane
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aeroplane
show examples
have
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has
show examples
 made it easy to travel that person from
the
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around the
show examples
 globe are
permanetly
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permanently
 living in
other
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another country
other countries
show examples
country
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.
However
Linking Words
, they are still making their own
comunity
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community
 wherever they
starts
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start
show examples
 to live, it still
represent
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represents
show examples
 their nationality.
In other words
Linking Words
, Brampton is mainly known as a
punjabi
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Punjabi
show examples
comunity
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community
 and it still shows that person
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 living there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 from
punjab
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Punjab
show examples
, India. As the result,
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country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
 can
reprsent
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represent
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 identity in several ways which can not be
destored
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restored
destroyed
 by globalization In conclusion, every
country
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a
uniqe
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unique
 identity which can be
diffrnate
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diffracted
 from other in the things that are only available
at
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in
show examples
 some places and by
pearson
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person
Pearson
 that belongs to that place.
Modernazation
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Modernization
 can not
destore
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restore
destroy
 that by making only a single culture as people are not even ready to
forgot
Change the form of the verb
forget
show examples
 their culture even though they are living in
Correct article usage
a forign
show examples
forign
Correct your spelling
foreign
.
Submitted by ss6802125 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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