The graph below shows the different home activities among young children in four different countries.

#home #activities #children #four #countries

In given

Change preposition

Given

show examples

bar graph gives data about the different home

activites

Correct your spelling

activities

among young children in

four

different

countries

.There are

four

categories of home

activites

Correct your spelling

activities

.They are

compuer

Correct your spelling

computer

games

,reading,

board

games

and watching

. Looking at the graph as a whole,playing computer

games

was the most population among young children

then

reading was the lowest

activities

Fix the agreement mistake

activity

show examples

in all

countries

. In detail,playing computer

games

proportion

more than 40% in

four

countries

,and the

proportion

of computer

games

and reading is 50% different in Nigeria.

Also

watching

Correct article usage

the watching

show examples

rate

Change preposition

show examples

four

Correct article usage

the four

show examples

countries

remained constant at 30%.

Malaysia

Change noun form

Malaysia's

show examples

proportion

of every

other than reading are

proportion

over than 20%.

The

Change preposition

In the

show examples

four

countries

are

proportion

in older of

compuer

Correct your spelling

computer

games

whatching

Correct your spelling

watching

board

games

and reading,

then

as you can see,in Malaysia and Nigeria

proportion

Correct article usage

the proportion

show examples

increaseing

Correct your spelling

increased

same

Change the article

the same

show examples

rise in older

Change preposition

apply

show examples

reading,

board

games

and watching

Submitted by hatsudaya706 on Sat Apr 08 2023

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words four, countries, games, board, tv, proportion with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 6 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.

▼

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

151 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The graph below shows the different home activities among young children in four different countries.

More and more companies are allowing employees to work at home/allowing students to study at home. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree.

The grwoth of online shopping will one day Lead to all shops in towns and cities closing.Do you agree or disagree?

Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or example