Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects. But others believe that teenage should focus on the subject that they are best at or that they find the most interest. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #teenagers #school #subjects #focus #interest

One of the most controversial topics today relates to whether

students

should focus only on a few subjects they are excellent at or study all of them.

While

being a master at something provides youngsters with more chances of success, I advocate adolescents join in all classes for the sake of their

well-round

Correct your spelling

well-rounded

show examples

development. On the one hand, it is convinced that concentrating in some areas aids

students

to gain more likelihood of being successful. Obviously, the more people allocate time to something, the more they are talented at it;

as a result

, those who specialize only in one major often enjoy a leg up in a certain number of competitions.

For example

, in order to win sports medals, juvenile sportsmen spend most of their time joining in physical training;

therefore

, they cannot attend all school periods.

Consequently

, it is clear to see why

this

argument is supported.

On the other hand

, many folks that teenagers had better learn all subjects to achieve a balanced lifestyle. To commence with, if

students

only have their noses on academics, they will have a sedentary lifestyle, resulting in numerous ailments

such

as stroke, obesity and coronary heart diseases in their later lives. What's more, those who are merely interested in doing physical exercise will

meet

Verb problem

face

show examples

difficulties finding decent jobs with high pay. It is a matter of fact that employers are more likely to pick candidates with excellent studying profiles.

Hence

, it goes without saying that a balanced lifestyle is of great importance and that's why

students

need to study all types of skills at school.

To conclude

, despite the fact that focusing on several favourite subjects assists

students

to become brilliant in some field, I side with the idea of encouraging them to

fulfil

Verb problem

take

show examples

all of the classes at school as a guarantee for their career success and health development in the long run.

Submitted by mintu258 on Sat Apr 08 2023

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task achievement

Ensure the main points are clearly supported by relevant examples and explanations.

coherence cohesion

Improve the logical structure of the essay by organizing ideas in a clearer and more coherent manner.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

312 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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