system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#system #effort #health #people #education #lessons #school #curriculum

Well, we have information about

people

born in and outside

Australia

Change preposition

between

show examples

1995 and 2010 years. The graph shows

statistic

Fix the agreement mistake

statistics

show examples

about living in urban, rural and town. We see that in 1995 native

people

prefer

Add the particle

toprefer

show examples

live in

city

Correct article usage

the city

show examples

like visitors, but

percentage

Correct article usage

the percentage

show examples

ratation

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rotation

smoot

Correct your spelling

smooth

show examples

Fix the agreement mistake

Statistics

show examples

Statistic

Add an article

The statistic

A statistic

show examples

in 2010

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are more

show examples

different and

nomber

Correct your spelling

number

cityans

Correct your spelling

city

prevails more than 3

time

Change to a plural noun

times

show examples

This

Correct determiner usage

These

show examples

differenties betwin

Correct your spelling

differences between

1995 and 2010

driven

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were driven

show examples

by economic growth. Let's talk about

Correct article usage

the differentis

show examples

differentis

Correct your spelling

differences

different

between

people

borned

Correct your spelling

born

Australia

and outside. Should be said first that

people

go to

Australia

for some reasons it is: education, work and

live

Wrong verb form

living

show examples

tranquility

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tranquillity

show examples

Change preposition

For

show examples

this

Change the noun form

reason

show examples

reasons

Add a comma

,reasons

show examples

people

that

born

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are born

show examples

outside

Australia

prefer live in

city

Add an article

the city

a city

show examples

and we can see more big differences

betwin

Correct your spelling

between

areas of living. So, in my

opineon

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opinion

nowdays

Correct your spelling

now days

we can see

same

Change the article

the same

show examples

picture.

Peple

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People

born in

Australia

also

prefer cities in a smaller

nomber

Correct your spelling

number

. In

conclusion

Add a comma

,conclusion

show examples

I'd like to say that everything is logical and we can explain

this

statistic.

Submitted by dulskywork on Sat Apr 08 2023

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

160 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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We are now living in the era of globalization. Therefore, English is a language which is spoken universally in all parts of the world. Nowadays, we see that English as a language is being taught more as compared to local languages in school. If it continues, many local languages will be diminished. In my opinion, It is very vital for every person to learn English as it has lots of pros but leaving behind local languages is not a recommended thing. We need to ensure the existence of local languages and we will discuss how this can be done.
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SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT STUDYING AT UNIVERSITY OR COLLEGE IS THE BEST ROUTE TO A SUCCESSFUL CAREER, WHILE OTHERS BELIEVE THAT IT IS BETTER TO GET A JOB STRAIGHT AFTER SCHOOL . DISCUSS BOTH THESE VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OWN OPINION.
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system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people buy local food?

In many countries, women and men are working full-time. It is, therefore, logical for women and men to share household tasks. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT STUDYING AT UNIVERSITY OR COLLEGE IS THE BEST ROUTE TO A SUCCESSFUL CAREER, WHILE OTHERS BELIEVE THAT IT IS BETTER TO GET A JOB STRAIGHT AFTER SCHOOL . DISCUSS BOTH THESE VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OWN OPINION.