Most modern families have both parents working and as a result children spend less time with their parents. What is the reason for this? What problem can this cause?

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it is true that more and more

parents

Use synonyms

get involved in working, so they do not have enough

time

Use synonyms

for their children. personally, I hold the belief that the increasing burden of workload is the main factor.

however

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

trend has a negative impact on both children and

parents

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. the tendency of spending more

time

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work

Use synonyms

can be attributed to adults' excessive volume of workload. it is worth mentioning that in order to make a profit and enhance

overall

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productivity, many companies decide to increase the number of working hours in the office.

therefore

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, people need to stay at their offices for a long

time

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to finish their

work

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tasks.

furthermore

Linking Words

parents

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need to satisfy their families' demands. in the modern era, all goods become prohibitively expensive, so those who strive for a high standard of living must

work

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hard with a view to earning a substantial amount of money.

As a result

Linking Words

, adults are unable to spend

time

Use synonyms

with their kids.

although

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

trend brings certain benefits to their lives, I strongly believe that it has an adverse influence on youngsters.

due to

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short-term exposure to each other, children may feel isolated and alone, which is likely to lead to some serious mental problems,

such

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as depression.

Moreover

Linking Words

, without the painstaking training and discipline of

parents

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, youngsters are inclined to indulge themselves in social issues.

for example

Linking Words

, the number of juvenile criminals has increased significantly in Viet Nam recently, as their

parents

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spend a huge amount of

time

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work

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and neglect their invaluable offspring. in conclusion, the primary motives for long-term working hours are the vast volume of workload and the satisfaction of their high demands.

nevertheless

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, these factors have resulted in negative impacts on youngsters that need to be taken into consideration.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

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Most modern families have both parents working and as a result children spend less time with their parents. What is the reason for this? What problem can this cause?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Many people today are choosing to travel to other countries. Why is that happening? Is this a positive or negative development?

The most important aim of science should be improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people should focus on all, whereas other people think that they should concentrate on only those that they find interesting. Discuss both views and give your own.