IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the changes in owernship of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feature, and make comparsions where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The charts below show the changes in owernship of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feature, and make comparsions where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#show #changes #owernship #appliances #amount #time #housework #households #country #summarise #information #feature #comparsions
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The line graphs compare the proportions of families purchasing electrical appliances and the average
time
Use synonyms
 spent on housework per household in the period from 1920 to 2019.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 electrical appliances were more and more popular,and every family spent less
time
Use synonyms
 every year doing housework over the whole period. In 1920,almost no family had a refrigerator,and the percentage of vacuum cleaners was low,at 30%.
However
Linking Words
,in 1980,the usage of refrigerators rose to 100%, and the ownership of vacuum cleaners peaked at 100% as well in 2000.
Moreover
Linking Words
, both the figures stayed at the highest level from
then
Linking Words
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,The number of families with washing machines kept relatively stable.In 1920,the proportion was 40%,and it was around 75% in 2019. In terms of the
time
Use synonyms
 spent on housework,in 1920,it cost every family 50 hours each week to take care of their houses;in 2019,only one-fifth of the
time
Use synonyms
 was needed for doing it .
Submitted by doria_wu325 on

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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